England 49 - Sunday 30th April 2006

Despite her assurances that she will NOT be in for Breakfast Club as she has a Dog Show to get ready for, Catherine can’t resist the pull of GB.net, and is delighted to see that the Yorkie Fairy has visited ENGLAND during the night. She departs for the show, leaving Gusti and Tina chatting about voting for Gerry as a Style Icon (in the Daily Record) over coffee........ Gracie, Blu and Cathy surface later. Em adds a link for the photos of the production she appeared in - it all looks very dark and passionate! Els pops in again and adds a link to her bulging Photobucket, which contains many disturbing images..... and some rather tasty ones too! Elb arrives after a long lie-in and immediately investigates said Photobucket, snaffling interesting piccies for her own drooling pleasure. She also confesses to having finally ordered the first three Outlander books.

Del appears with some Beanie sigs (if you like that sort of thing!) and the news that there was a fire in her building last night, but that all is okay. Berenise tells of her meeting with Debbie Goddard and her encounter with Nutmeg and Ginger at Jo Malone’s in Harvey Nicks, lucky girl! Catherine bounces in delighted with the fact that Tam came second in his class today, and has therefore qualified for Crufts! Yay!

In general, everyone is having a relaxing day, and we all learn about Beltane, the Pagan festivities surrounding May Day, through Tina and links provided by Gusti.

Later, Goffy admits she is nervous of meeting all the Tarts, but Tina reassures her that all will be well, as we all got on great in Glasgow. Everyone was apprehensive then, but it was a blast, and London is going to be a hoot! Eeyore pipes up that she is watching TR2 closely as some of the scenes on motorbikes were shot near to where she lives. Elb reappears, having watched LOTR3 and cried at the end, as well as every time a Hobbit cries.... Eeyore and Elb are joined by the Perv Twins and Em and Goffy enter their own bizarre World of Cheese which leaves Elb utterly baffled, so she beats a hasty retreat.... Goffy and Em finally retire, leaving Eeyore to shut up shop, until Gusti pops back in briefly, then Blu posts in the middle of the night, having been unable to sleep because her head itches!

ENGLAND 49 - "This way to the Boulevard of Butler Dreams!"

SATURDAY 29TH APRIL 2006

The usual crew surface for Breakfast Club, and after Elb leaves with trepidation (who's he?) for a long stint at work, Sparkle arrives with the news that her brother is okay after his trip to A&E, but that she has seen a reference to Gerry on the Ceefax pages by someone called Jen, saying he's the "Greatest actor!" She emails the Beeb to point the Tart in our direction......

The afternoon shift begins with Blu dishing out scones, and she's joined by a virtual horde of scavengers: Catherine, Gusti, Goffy, Taffy and Tina. Tarts prepare for a late night dose of Gerry in "Dracula 2000" to be shown on terrestrial TV!

Elb finally crawls in knackered after a hard day at the shop, and promptly falls into a bottle of wine, and sits in front of the computer with a face-pack on..... A chat about movies follows, as Gusti has had a film-fest and has watched "Dirty Dancing 1 & 2", as well as "The Day After Tomorrow". Most of ENGLAND then desert Gusti to go and drool over David Tennant in "Doctor Who", and some whip over to the Kissing Thread, where Peigi McCann is holding the second of her virtual Anatomy and Physiology Classes, aided and abetted by "Dr Butler" who selflessly displays parts of his anatomy so Peigi can teach us all the Latin names.... The third class is scheduled for next Saturday......

Els shows up, still in fairly low-key mood understandably, but reports that her injured foot is improving. We are ambushed by piccies of semi-nekkid Scotsmen. But not THAT Scotsman. Els finally tells us what happened when she Went To Play For The Queen (Post No 115) and how she hurt her foot, and all becomes clear. Em also appears, having finished the show at last, but confesses to having sent a drunken text to a Certain Person, but may have sent it to the WRONG person. We await developments...

Elb - by now cheerfully plastered, sings along to POTO, which must be bad, as everyone decides to go to bed!



So there is no-one about when YORKIE posts a message from sunny Las Vegas, where she has been dining in style, flying over the Grand Canyon (thought she hated flying?) and generally having a wonderful time! We miss you Yorks!

England 48 - Friday 28th April 2006

Up and at 'em as usual, are Catherine and Elb for Breakfast Club, although Elb regrets her dedication to the threads... Being Super-Woo-man is not all it's cracked up to be.... Her sanity gives further cause for concern when she starts talking to a giant white rabbit called Harvey. Both Catherine and Elb nag at Gusti to find out what her blood tests revealed, and Catherine is excited because her Mum is coming to stay for a few days - another potential GB convert! Del and Kelli are latecomers to BC, so miss the general chit-chat, and ENGLAND is quiet again until afternoon when Em arrives to announce that the show in which she is appearing is going well, apart from a slight set malfunction which called for some serious ad-libbing!

There is discussion of voting for the Daily Record Style Icon Awards for which Gerry has been nominated, and most of ENGLAND appear to have voted - in Berenise's case, several times! She resolves to hide the phone bill from hubby..... and says that she is going to meet up with fellow BritTart Debbie Goddard over the Bank Holiday weekend. Gusti still hasn't made it to the doctors as said doctor is away, so we all go back to nail-biting and hoping she is okay. Em rushes back out to perform once more, and Catherine describes how she has been playing judges..... (Don't ask....)

Sparkle has to take her brother off to casualty, and is excused duties for the evening, Goffy performs acrobatics until realising that her Perv Twin has gone again, but disturbs Gusti who has decided to crank the music up and is dancing round the thread thinking she is alone.... Cathy (feeling poorly) and Tina arrive after a chat about films, then Elb returns from slave labour and begins pic-spamming just because. A virtual jukebox is put on, and ENGLAND have a cyberdance around their handbags and into the new thread. Inspired by the title of one of the songs played on the jukebox, Tina starts up ENGLAND 49 - "This way to the Boulevard of Butler Dreams!"

Drinks are served, and Tina supplies a link to a Naked Butler site, which she promptly removes again, just in case! It is NOT GB, but proper butlers....... like wot serve drinks in the all-together. Nice. "Cocktail sausage with your aperitif madam?" Elb returns to the fray with green dinner, and disgusts everyone with tales of drooling through spinach....

Talk turns to DVDs and Goffy and Elb advise Cathy how to hack her DVD player so it can play multi-region discs. You learn something new every day on GB.net... Eeyore frets because her new job pays in arrears, thus leaving her short for a couple of weeks, and ENGLAND winds down early as everyone is worn out with the cyberdancing..... Elb invites Gerry rather hopefully to join the earlybirds in the morning for Breakfast Club........

England 48 - Thursday April 27th 2006

The morning after the night before......

Elb crawls into Breakfast Club with a monumental hangover and the knowledge that she has to face the music at work today. Catherine and Kelli have started BC without her, and go on to discuss icing, which doesn't help Elb's delicate stomach. To hurl, or not to hurl....She soon perks up at Catherine's mention of 'buns' - as in the 'ass-ets' kind that caused such consternation on the KT the previous day.

Apart from a brief interlude later that morning from Delanie and Blu, ENGLAND is quiet again until late afternoon when Catherine posts the link to the latest Fan Encounter in Vancouver, where a young fan working in a coffee shop allegedly gets a kiss from the G-Man for her birthday. Not only that, but it is her FIRST kiss! Discussion follows as to how subsequent kisses can never match up to one from His Royal Hotness........ Catherine, Goffy and Marsha ponder the fan encounter, joined by Berenise and subsequently Gusti who has returned from her brief stay at a health spa. Gusti is welcomed back with hugs and makes everyone jealous by telling of her relaxing time! Conversation returns to the fan encounter and it turns out that the bike mentioned in the tale was in fact a pushbike, and not a throbbing motorbike, much to everyone's disappointment.

Gracie has been out to the theatre to celebrate her 12th anniversary, and the topic of conversation ranges from belly-dancing, to first kisses. Elb is nowhere to be seen, as she has to go and work extra hours at the shop after her regular job. She rolls in late however, and reveals that she has not been fired for molesting young lads, and has apologised shamefacedly. Cathy, Laura, Blu and Tina all surface and there is brief talk of the Outlander books, the Da Vinci Code and weird cravings - because of Laura's pregnancy! Elb announces to all that she has had a text from the itinerant Yorkie, and that Yorkie and hubby are having a fabulous time in Las Vegas!

Marsha, Goffy, Gusti and Elb round off the evening with absurd talk of funeral music and RSI, with some black and white Gerry pics thrown in for Goffy's collection.... and ENGLAND retires with Auf Weidersehn......... Goodnight.

England's 48 crash: It's like a lightning flash!..

Catherine starts Breakfast Club this morning at the arse-end of Thread 47, and has to set up a new thread before we even get coffee under way. We are joined once again by Kelli from the KT, who has decided to enlist as an Honorary Brit, and this morning's natter turns to the loss of Gerry's face-fungus. Vital stuff, our discussions. Delanie and Goffy pop in briefly later in the morning, but then ENGLAND falls uncharacteristically silent until Elb arrives back from work. Elb announces that she will be incommunicado this evening as she has to attend an event in the Real World. Meanwhile, Catherine holds court, and is joined by Sparkle, Cathy and Em (who has finished rehearsals) and Cathy muses longingly about Scotland. This trio soon disperses and Goffy, Marsha and Tina take their place to keep the home fires burning. Tina has had a bad day, and Goffy very thoughtfully provides comforting pics, carefully chosen for the pic-ees.

ENGLAND welcomes yet another Tart from the States - Bonnie Donna Jean - or BDJ as she becomes. She picks up on the BC's early comments on Gerry's fuzz/no-fuzz, and begins a discussion of GB's looks. *NB: have to point out here that the ONLY thread where discussion of bodyparts is allowed, is the Kissing Thread, so technically, we are breaking GB.net rules by discussions such as these in the ENGLAND thread*

Laura bounces in later, disgruntled that her OMK DVD has gone AWOL, but bursting to tell everyone that she is pregnant! Congratulations to Laura and hubby! Eeyore arrives and a lively discussion of baby names ensues, with Gerard being an obvious choice, but Marek?......! Even after Laura departs for bed, the name game goes on, with people listing their favourite children's names, until Elb rolls in, drunk as a skunk! Realisation dawns that she has misbehaved with an 18 year-old apprentice at the works' party and will no doubt pay the consequences tomorrow....

...And so to bed....

Are you sitting comfortably?....Then I'll begin.....!

This is a small blogette for the benefit of BritTarts who are temporarily MIA and absent from the ENGLAND thread on GB.net. Hopefully, it will provide a synopsis for them as to what went on while they were away...More likely, it will develop into another rambling monologue from me, for which I apologise in advance....

TUESDAY 25TH APRIL 2006

Elb and Catherine are joined for Breakfast Club by Kelli from the KT, and Elb discovers to her delight that she has been immortalised in the Knuckleheadlot Class of 2006 photo. Today is the first anniversary of the founding of Knuckleheadlot, and KISSOFF festivities began at midnight. Go to Knuckleheadlot 15, page 28 for the Official start - sorry no linky thing!
The fun actually started much earlier, so go back and read of all the silliness!

Later, the early shift in ENGLAND is occupied by Catherine and Elb (who has no life...) Notably absent are Em and Goffy, although Goffy has been excused duties on account of it being her hubby's birthday. A brief flurry of 'arse' puns ensues, prompted by A Certain Clip which was circulated the previous evening, but which grinds to a halt when Catherine and Elb scrape the bottom of the barrell regarding the butt of their jokes.

*Groan*

Gracie and Cathy show up as reinforcements for the flagging ENGLANDers and poor Els makes a welcome but brief return to ENGLAND only to announce the sad news of her grandad's passing. Hugs and best wishes are sent through cyberspace.....
As Catherine and Elb are about to sign off, Em returns, having been in rehearsals for her upcoming play. Lack of sleep has obviously taken its toll on the poor child, and she rambles about cheese (?) and begins picwars with Goffy, who has given up all pretence at being a dutiful wife on hubby's birthday! Elb withdraws discreetly...........