ENGLAND 127 - Geats Ahoy!

(BritTarts Woffle about Wulfy...and Others)

Catherine awakes to a continuation of her headache, and wonders if her monitor is the problem....... Hubby’s solution? Don’t look!..... Elb joins her as promised, but peaceful BC is interrupted by Marsha the Not-So-Quiet Admirerer who is only just off to bed. Catherine, after adventures in dyeing, decides she likes her startling new hair colour, and she and Elb huddle over the cauldron discussing the dubious joys of getting older as their eyesight deteriorates (along with the inevitable decline of everything else!).......... Gusti thinks someone has died, with the obituary-like new page layout, and Catherine contemplates being a bad dog-mummy and skipping walkies as the weather is foul and she feels yuk!

Grouchy QOV Tina has company, so must change her habits and her PJs, while Catherine and Elb do feline business before still-weary Elb returns to bed for more zeds. Eye-strained Gusti also bales out and Tina and Catherine practise that most British of traditions - discussing the weather........Relatively-challenged Breila calls in sick from her bed, and Cathy - also in Sunday dress of jammies - finishes PSILY then goes stripping....... Miss Hyde dreams in Tescos, and Jo prepares to return to school, but finds time to dispense helpful veterinary advice for Noodles! Els drops off a WulfyGram for Elb, and Jo reports that her vet takes the p*** out of her poor cat on a regular basis.......... Eeyore decides ‘It’s Now or Never’, dons her ‘Blue Suede Shoes’ and gets ‘All Shook Up’ with the return of the King, while all that’s on Catherine’s mind besides a headache is Syndol.......Miss Hyde assures Eeyore that although she’s off to Uni shortly, she won’t be ‘Lonesome Tonight’ as she’s stuck on ENGLAND.... Cyber-Mummy Elb pompously issues Uni ground rules, while Eeyore and Catherine talk drugs, and Gusti covers excessive drinking....... (hers and Elb’s....)

Eeyore advises on camera purchases, and terminally-behind Barbara is devastated to find she has lost ALL her GB.net downloads due to computer and husband malfunction....... She and Gusti talk German soap, and ENGLAND depart for Sunday lunch.......

Goffy bounces in much later, having finally been able to hear the sound of music from her new lappy, courtesy of wireless headphones, and plans on getting a top-to-toe treat next week - but misses out the bit in between. ENGLAND gradually return in time for tea, and Em, Gusti, and Vanessa join Goffy for tea.... Em plays mind games with a lecherous amnesiac, and Dandie gets spoilt rotten. She gives a heads-up on the news that JD may be house-hunting in Eeyore country, while Eeyore gets ratty, and test drives her new camera........ Gusti gets a complex when all goes quiet every time she raves about her German soap opera, Eeyore reckons JD should head further North and Miss Hyde is a popular girl and multi-tarts while MSNing.... and engaged in the same preoccupation, Els is getting chatted up while posting. Elb returns to shamelessly plug her other blog, ElbOnline, as she has spent the afternoon playing at being a writer, and Jo calms down after aggro on another forum...... Elb suggests a hyperactive moggy instead of an ultrasonic gizmo to keep Eeyore’s rats at bay, but Mrs Eeyore’s not keen, while Tina joins the Team with historical intentions for later, and comforts Lord Wolfie with a mahoosive hangover whilst trying to keep a straight face. Elb runs a repeat showing of Mini-Marek versus Big Noodles for Vanessa’s daughter but thinks she got away without being called bonkers by Goffy. Until Goffy surfaces to call her bonkers.

ENGLAND lust after Puresex, while Certain People just long for pure sex, and Elb issues the End Of Thread Alert which largely goes unnoticed as folk are thinking of Puresex........... Els is a barsteward magnet, or so she thinks, while Dandie’s beloved commands IT services from his wife. Elb throws a paddy as the end of the thread rises up fast to smack ENGLAND between the eyes, and commands Em or Els to slug it out for ThreadStarting honours, failing to notice that Yorkie has snuck in and knuckled down to business already........

Two ENGLAND 128’s arise from the ashes of Elb’s meltdown, and as Yorkie’s is first off the starting blocks by a minute, it grabs glory, while Els’ thread flutters forlornly in the breeze with just a “Dagnabbit!” to show it had ever lived........ Cheerleaders and WOOTs abound as ENGLAND celebrate the birth of 128 and show their appreciation of Man of All Moments, Gerry Butler! Em opens fire with picspam, and ENGLAND head rapidly for the naughty corner, while Dandie awards Em the first red card of the thread for commenting that “not everyone can kiss the end of their own bat!”........ Father Gerry is called in to absolve Eeyore of her sins, while the long queue for the naughty corner is joined by Euphemia and Jo, and Elb is far too observant for her Gerrylust and wonders about Angelara’s extraordinary thumb as pictured across Terry/Gerry’s throat! Big-game hunter Euphemia has great news - Rover has finally been ensnared! Els acquires a bounty of Depp’s Chest by illicit means and can now watch POTC2 at her (p)leisure, while Jo puts the frighteners on Euphemia by telling her that Rover has a partner who will come gunning for her..... ENGLAND WOOT for Euph’s GB.net anniversary, and Catherine and Els depart early - Catherine to try and get rid of her headache, and Els to drool over yet more JD....... Vanessa tries it on with all Gerry’s characters, to find that the rest of Team ENGLAND have got there before her, and Euphemia sits back and recounts how big brave Mr the Horrible held the chair for her while she and her arthritic hip went mountaineering to rescue the family Horrible from certain death by Rover........ Elb and Euph play Fast and Loose - Elb being Fast, while Yorkie slaves over a hot Travelogue and Jo and Euph bale out of the thread for Bedfordshire....... Eeyore plays with her new camera and photgraphs far away mountains and giant man-eating flowers, while Dandie wishes all a good night and leaves with a Stranger........Vanessa is left once more to tuck ENGLAND in and leaves Wulfy and Terry on guard duty before calling it a night......

All is quiet on the Western front, save for the synchronised snoring of Team ENGLAND as they dream of the coming Saturday’s trip............