ENGLAND 121 hurtles headlong into 122........

BritTarts get all Swanky, dreaming of a 1-2-1 with Gerry.....

After a night off blogging, Elb has a lie-in on the Sunday morning, so Catherine is first up to attend to nightwatchman Gerry who is somewhat stiff after holding his sword all night in defence of his ENGLAND team..... Workaholic Gusti joins her and plans to take a work in the park, and points out more news on the Wrath of Gods site. Catherine does the Hokey-Cokey amid domestic bliss, as does Tina, but there is more Hokey than Cokey and they fail to synchronise their ins and outs......

Elb arrives later and confesses to falling asleep on Wulfy, while frantic Jo hunts for a certain video, and Miss Hyde procrastinates a la Elb. Catherine girds her loins to face the crowds, and is advised by a mysterious Elb to purchase a black T shirt, the purpose of which will be revealed later........ They both stock up on Tena Lady and download Em-Elle’s latest bladder-challenging vid, while Eeyore and Long-Lost LauraC join the ENGLAND layabouts along with Queen of Vamp Tina, who is in ghoulish drooling mood after getting her teeth into vampire vids...... Laura is out of the loop regarding the B&G screening, so both Tina and Eeyore round her up and head her in the right direction for tickets, but to her dismay, she has a prior engagement as not-so Fairy Godmother..... Eeyore invites her to the B&G Online Consolation Party, Catherine returns from Bogie shopping in the Metropolis that is Barnstaple, and Lard-Ass Lady W needs a forklift after lunch...... Elb is all behind, and does Breakfast Coven Revisited, while Eeyore nudges everyone who forgot Miss Magdalena’s birthday yesterday. ENGLAND hastily correct the mistake....... Miss Hyde is allowed out to play after tasks are done, Catherine concocts Instant Migraine with the ingredients of her meagre lunch, and as with most families on a Sunday afternoon, ENGLAND bicker... (over best boys) Elb meanwhile, after being admonished by Eeyore for forgetting birthdays, does her homework and records all such events for posterity on her lappy, and thence to her phone..... Lest we forget.......

Laura begins picwars with her birthday list, and ENGLAND pull pretty men apart between them, but Catherine relinquishes all others bar our Gerry, as Bogie popped his clogs before she was a twinkle, so doesn’t count. Laura raises ENGLAND’s blood pressure with the ubiquitous White String photo, and Louby drops in at the end of the thread - the ENGLAND thread, not Gerry’s...... Elb issues the customary End of Thread Alert, but has a new one up her sleeve ready to pull out at a moment’s notice, while Louby complains that her freshly delivered Mini-Marek has the incorrect ocular shade...... Not what she had in mind, but okay..... She plans to handcuff the wee man after making him new trousers, then wonders why her family regard her with deep suspicion.

Elb distracts Laura with the link to Marek’s fashion show, then she and the rest of ENGLAND join hands and leap into ENGLAND 122 - One is Too, Too Sexy for One’s Shirt! (BritTarts bicker over best boys....)

Mini-Marek begins the show in scene-stealing black leather, and picwars continues but with a Gerry theme... Elb guiltily confesses to being witness to micro-mooning, and confirms that MM sadly has no arse, while Catherine diverts attention to a hysterical thread entitled ‘WTF is ambisexual?’ in which there is much discussion of Spartans' love of scented candles, pot pourri and strappy sandals..... Laura lusts after her own Mini-Marek, and is given directions on where to find him, and greedy Jo wants more.... Elb issues a serious warning about spoof emails from PayPal and eBay which is endorsed by Jo, but normal service is quickly resumed and Dandie creeps in under the radar while ENGLAND WOOTs for Louby’s lips as she reaches a century.

Sparkle attends to pressing family matters, and looks forward to a jolly in Spain next week, Eeyore is sidetracked and backtracked by semi-nekkid and fragrant young Bloom, and breathless Gusti follows the ENGLAND trail from the park through the jungle and eventually has to make a leap of faith into the new thread. Jo is summoned back to Real Life to deal with domestic debris, ENGLAND wish Sparkle happy hols, and Eeyore is distraught when Orli joins the murdered in Midsomer....... Gusti’s mind wanders off to work, leaving the rest of her to lurk in GB.net, where she falls prey to deadly picspam from Eeyore, and Dandie plucks up courage to balance her books.... Vanessa reads her chequebook and weeps, and terminal workaholic Em returns in a bad mood...... Elb complains about the violent youth of today - and wants to punch their little lights out, while Gusti is done in by fatal photos.... Em pooh-poohs Elb’s suggestion that she negotiate the 9th off, as she needs the dosh, and non-communicative Euphemia chooses to lurk lest she play......

Picspam wears a little thin, so Elb lobs in an ode to cheer Euphemia, pakes the tiss out of Jo’s typos and ‘Brong an Ide Note’ begins by accident...... A search party is sent out for Gusti, Euphemia and Goffy while folk ponder their poetry, and Catherine apologises to Mary Poppins. Gusti recovers and returns, and Em eats enough garlic to keep Gerracula away, Jo has a stab at TR2 limericking, while lubricated Elb lets rip with her rude rhymes......... Goffy’s absence gives cause for concern, but ENGLAND soldier on with odd odes and picspam...... Em gets poetic about her missing Perv Twin, Elb waxes lyrical about Mini-Marek, and Euphemia returns with an epic ode to Attila. Jo tackles King Leo, while Catherine pays homage to B&G, and Jo wants a challenge.... Gusti’s fortune-teller doesn’t forsee a change in her work rota, so has to reschedule Gusti, and Els apologises for her absence..... Jo and Elb have a Crispy Creedy Poetry Bake-Off, while Em just smells like him and Em explains to Eeyore what a chiminea is as opposed to a chimera.......... Catherine, Em and Gusti throw in the poetry towel, Elb gets carried away, and the rest of Team ENGLAND just wish she was........ Eeyore gets hiccups and weird messages from beyond the Photobucket, while Gerry could smoke stationery and Jo would still find him sexy!

All poem’d out, Elb plays Hide and Seek with Marek again, but he’s easy to spot in her drawers. Arachnid-tracking Euphemia finally launches herself out from behind the sofa and lobs in an ode to Gerry before climbing on a chair once more, while Em has far too much sugar and thinks Mini-Marek should go into print...... Elb asks for props and pictorially abridges Marek’s adventures for Vanessa, and Balespam begins in earnest...... Mini-Marek obliges Dandie with his big sword, and Jo suddenly develops a plastic fetish....... Elb discovers -shock, horror- that MM has no navel, and ENGLAND immediately rush to check that The Real Thing has the requisite fluff-collector. Happily, he satisfies on more than just that level, but ENGLAND get sidetracked by sexy Raoul - Bova, not De Chagny......... Picspam continues unabated and Elb jacks it in, in favour of a night with Jamie, while Jo, Eeyore and Vanessa spill their Photobuckets all over ENGLAND’s floor and get Bale-gasmic....... They decide on a Butler-Bale sandwich for late-night supper, but Eeyore pigs out on a five-layer Club Sarnie, risking a bad case of Totty-Tum. She puts ENGLAND to bed, leaving Super-Gerry in charge, and heads off to explore Big Marek’s belly-button.........