ENGLAND shows their age at 111... (or is that eleventy-one?)

Gusti potters into ENGLAND while all are still snoring, cracks up quietly over last nights’ posts then hops aboard her train...... Not-at-all grouchy Elb arrives next, missing her coffee as she has run out of Jus de Moo, and will have to wait till she gets to work before she wakes up....... Catherine wakes with a sore eye (and coffee) and struggles to curb her enthusiasm for wet walkies with three soggy doggies, while Elb runs out of time, and has to escape to work without finishing yesterday’s Abridged....Els too is off to sell her soul and Em drops in sans voiture to recount how she has never been so insulted as by a man last night...... Vanessa’s verdict is short and to the point. Els combusts from boredom, and multi-tarting Yorkie - who is one year old today - reassures Em that Emilies are Gerry’s favourites actresses......

The Triple-Bedded Rooms at the Marriott Crisis deepens, and Euphemia confirms there is no room at the Inn for Three-in-a-bed Tarts....... Els appeals for a roomie, Euphemia worries about a puss gone AWOL, and Jo WOOTs for Yorkie’s anniversary, sympathises with Catherine, Em and Euphemia, and point Els in the right direction to find a roomie! SooperWoo-man has landed! Em books in with Gusti and Goffy for Glasgow, and Delanie the Bard takes the floor with a marathon ode to Gerriness.....

The Laydeez Wot Lunch meet in ENGLAND: Yorkie makes a speech in which she thanks everyone for the WOOTs, admits she’s talked rubbish for 12 months, laughed and learned lots,made sooper dooper friends and makes plans to room with Gerry at the Marriott..... Em applauds her oration, and Berenise - outed by Jo - admits she’s been online looking for the Da Marriott Code....... Nicely-sated Els points out to Yorkie that Gerry is going to be shared by all in Glasgow, and Del gets confoosed. Goffy gets huggy, while terminally bored Els posts random JD links and notes with true Britishness that it looks like it may “persist it down soon”....... Em accuses Goffy of going a bit Carlotta on-a ENGLAND, and Yorkie tells Els to bring a crate of Red Bull to Glasgow to pep up Gerry’s flagging.....stamina. Del doesn’t like Mondays, but leaves the gun at home, and Els prefers to get Gerry up on Irn-Bru as Red Bull makes her hurl.... The Laydeez linger over lunch, discussing fave Gerry pictures, Miss Hyde returns to poor neglected Phanty, and Els sidetracks ENGLAND with online jigsaws........Gerry becomes a puzzle, but Del would prefer him to be a mystery, and Els refuses to chase people....

A Scottish Moose wanders into ENGLAND during the afternoon and plays tag with Del who wants to be chased, and Em, Goffy and Els welcome the newcomer to ENGLAND. Els discovers her bro has sabotaged her computer, and takes it and herself for de-lousing having lost all her bookmarks.... She is somewhat annoyed.... Lady Claire offers her cheer-up picture, and Em’s car fails to make the grade. Elb peers cautiously into the thread, wondering if it’s safe to come in, and declares herself a non-discriminating hugger! Miss Hyde hands in a sick note and excuses herself, while Em plans to shout at sexy grease-monkeys.......Cathy concludes that computer screens may be hazardous to your health, and had no such problems perched atop a ladder this week, and Catherine, fount of all useful information, announces that the Da Marriott Code will be released tomorrow at 3pm, just pipping Berenise to the post..... Emmy wuvs Goffy, Goffy wuvs Em, and Els is out of credit, so can’t tell Elb she wuvs her, even if she wanted to........Prim and proper Marriott will only allow two Tarts in a bed, and Catherine declares herself Officially Senile after forgetting to read the end of the last thread! Goffy thanks Eeyore and Jo for helping her not go gaga over the Triple-Bedded Room Crisis, Cathy WOOTs for Yorkie’s anniversary, and resurrects the tradition of Discussing the Weather, as it is suddenly bladdy freezing after the heatwave! Euphemia is all of a twitter and her bonce can’t cope with the announcements of announcements yet to come... Els can’t remember what’s supposed to happen, and Berenise too changes her plans for booking.......Catherine warns of smacked wristies if anyone discusses other hotels online until the Marriott is full, and like others, will be ready and waiting with her credit card at 3pm......Euphemia in the meantime, saved from wandering the streets, gets serious (albeit briefly) and reckons ENGLAND are a priviledge to know.... Cathy goes off for a hard ride, having neglected her trusty steed of late, and Eeyore, bundled up in fleece and slippers, has her own little singalong to Mary Poppins.....Elb discovers one advantage to hot flushes and is nice and toasty, while ENGLAND practise for the Headless Chicken Formation Dance Team...... Catherine reminds everyone that only a couple of weeks ago, the Team were all wilting from the heat and wishing for cooler weather - now they are complaining about being cold! Euphemia figures that she’ll keep longer in the cold......

Els STILL can’t remember what she should have done, but in the meantime entrusts herself to Elb’s care and thusly transfers her panic onwards - Elb blames it all on His Gorgeousness.... Em is ridiculously laid-back, Euphemia tells Vanessa’s funny farm to expect further reservations, and ENGLAND agree that Gerry is worth the worry, then chill out with Cathy’s hot chocolate......Not one to miss out on chocolate, Yorkie steams in after late-night last-minute shopping, and demands a Sailaway party for Thursday night, while Els takes a gamble on heckling nekkid poker-playing friends... Sparkle is chilled and mellow after yoga, Jo suggests ENGLAND makes a group booking at the funny farm instead of the Marriott, and finds Elbmit a friend in the shape of the Swedish chef....... Yorkie hopes he won’t be cooking on her cruise to Russia, and leaves her itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny yellow polda-dot bikini at home, mentions the C-word, and is warned by Eeyore to start running.....Miss Hyde joins the Formation Panic Team, and Elb as expected, awards non-swearing Yorkie a red card for foul language. In retaliation, Yorkie taunts her cyber-chum with a torrent of tinsel, turkey and trifle, prompting a brief explosion into Elbmititude, calmed by Mini-Marek doing yoga alongside Elb.....

Jo and Eeyore offer moral support for Vanessa’s problems with persistent pests, the funny farm fills up faster than the Marriott, and unexpected Archie gives Jo palpitations.....Goffy links to Gerry in Japan, and Yorkie heads off for much-needed beauty sleep as she wants to avoid Attila-hair in the morning! She thanks ENGLAND for their anniversary WOOTing, and makes a date for same time, same place next year. Eeyore gets excited about DABs, and Goffy puts up her new vid as an early birthday present for Em.... Eeyore sets ENGLAND up for Breakfast Club and leaves bekilted Gerry on guard, but ENGLAND just won’t lie down..... Marsha comes in and demonstrates how NOT Quiet an Admirer she is, Jo wants breakfast in bed with the buns that Eeyore laid out, and Marsha gets scolded by Eeyore and Jo for chattering with picture-perfect Vanessa after hours....

At last, silence falls over ENGLAND, broken only by the small snores of bare Mini-Marek and his bear-buddy..........