ENGLAND 108 - BritTarts have too much sun and start rhyming......

Anxious Catherine wakes early to encourage Goffy in criminal enterprise in order to buy Phanty’s last pair of gloves on eBay, and Elb too is up at the crack of butt with a snowball’s chance of catching up on a very behind Abridged...... G1 & 2 miss Gusti and worry about her overworking, while Elb hides her house-breaking shovel from potential burglars before disappearing off to work, leaving Marek and Noodles on guard....Bandana’d Els drops in before toddling off to be a not-so-common labourer, and Em is in bright and early to recount her trilling lessons of last night, but has her morning marred by the filching of her wheel trims, but sportingly bursts into verse for her addition to last night’s ‘Odefest’.

All tired out after the Rhymathon, ENGLAND is quiet until lunch when Jo saunters through, joined a short time later by the tuneless Goffy, who longs to put her hands where Gerry’s paws have been...Del has an encounter with Wet Firemen, while Goffy and Jo come to the conclusion that size matters, and it’s a dirty job, but Goffy has to rewatch Gerryporn in the interests of ENGLAND research! Catherine enquires about the one-dimensional conversation earlier and asks for evidence in order to formulate HER theory.....

Elb arrives at teatime, and grumpily tells ENGLAND to stop talking in class while she catches up with the much delayed Abridging..... Lady Claire ignores her and posts a hi..... Els aches after a day’s painting, but isn’t exactly decorating the Sistine Chapel, while Jo plays ‘Spot the Bulge’ with Goffy... Catherine is now shameless about stains, and not content with the heatwave, ENGLAND moan when it cools down....Elb can still hear ENGLAND whispering from over at Blogger, and passes a message on from Del that she has got hooked on the “Priest” books... Elb becomes ENGLAND’s Official Messenger, as Jo tells her to tell Del she’s read the first “Priest” book, and Goffy pleads for her hugs to be passed on.....Goffy’s Kisses for Gerry card gets ruined, and she has to start over, Els soaks her aches away and is mysterious over a possible job..... Gusti turns up after being MIA for a while, and is very down about a man and her work, but blames it on her ‘woman thing’..... She is very tired and worries the rest of the team....... Euphemia too is suffering, and threatens to ‘do for the little bugger’ with the sledgehammer in her head. Paranoid Elb worries that ENGLAND took her seriously when she told them all to stop posting while she was Abridging, but the site is playing up again, so she heaves a sigh of relief and hoists the late edition up a half a day late....Catherine sends Doctor Gerry over to Euphemia’s gaff, and Miss Hyde panics about her A level results, but is given a stiff talking to by Elb, and in the absence of a pecker, is instructed to keep someone else’s up, and Vanessa suffers the Curse of the BritTarts - bags under her eyes big enough for a weekly shop! Goffy can’t text Del as she has no credit, so Elb the Messenger duly passes it on to the appropriate authority and hopes not to get shot.... Euphemia can’t shift her head, and Del passes yet another message back through Elb.

Gusti reveals that she has feelings for the guy with the funny name, but blames her inability to control them on her time of month, and finds that men are like buses....... Cathy thanks God for Dads and discovers that ladders have their advantages in talent-spotting too! Elb continues her pep talk with worried Miss Hyde, and Els passes a message through Official Channels that her internet has gone tits up. Eeyore gives Miss Hyde help with advice on Universities and clearing lists, and Vanessa worries that ENGLAND is quiet. (The site is slow, and everyone is pooped after the previous night’s poetic shenanegins.....)

Eeyore is now on meds to help her underactive thyroid, and plans to evict the cotton wool from her brain, while Euphemia demonstrates the results of her lessons from her resident IT expert with a gallery of GB portraiture. ENGLAND applauds, impressed at their arty-farty Tarty. Sparkle is pulled up by the Law, which leads to a discussion of misspent youth (Goffy) Eeyore’s trip in a meat wagon (a lift home) and Vanessa finally gets her bladdy picture up.....Berenise thanks telly-guide Catherine for the heads-up on the last Inspector Lynley and returns depressed, while ENGLAND’s virtual pug finally gets a name - Britannia! Elb names the cat Ethel after Eeyore’s nan......

Yorkie finally clambers aboard after much trouble, and announces her eldest is due to fly out of London tomorrow, so after the massive security alert today, is naturally worried about her lad’s safety. Teary Goffy learns a valuable lesson from her youthful stupidity, and it has helped her become a stronger person, and ENGLAND’s much-loved nutcase..... ENGLAND get mushy and have a hugfest....Goffy launches Spam Night, and the team slide slowly but surely into the Gutler with personalised picspam, while Jo is late for hugs but gets them anyway.... Elb, flipping back and forth between Abridging, is confoosed, but gives the glad tidings that the Weeping Engineer is expecting a double happy event, so weeps with joy now! ENGLAND WOOTs! Vanessa has no idea who she’s WOOTing for, but joins in gamely, and departing Miss Hyde advises not to waste too much midnight oil as it’s at a premium.... The volley of picsmut continues unabated, Jo asks for her WOOT back after giving it to Eeyore in mistake for Euphemia, and Elb turns in as she has a busy day ahead and looks forward to another visit from Fat Sucker Bloke... Vanessa learns that being a member of Team ENGLAND means that sleep too is at a premium, and Goffy gives late-night Photobucket lessons with initial success, then Vanessa’s Photobucket gets tipped up and all goes pear-shaped!

Jo pops back in to put ENGLAND to bed, and all goes silent, save for the quiet snufflings from Britannia and Ethel as they sleep......