ENGLAND 107 - Mayhem Ensues! BritTarts mull over Mini-Mareks, mirth and motions....

Once again, Euphemia’s insomnia gets the better of her, and she wanders lonely as a cloud into ENGLAND in the wee small hours to wax lyrical again, with “Ode to the Gutler”.......Elb gets all emotional and tries to respond in equally poetic manner but fails dismally due to caffeine starvation...... Catherine too comes over all unneccessary, and Elb suggests a Poetry Night in ENGLAND tonight. Euphemia gets an award for Most Creative Insomniac, and Catherine can’t see Abridged...... Euphemia can, and blows virtual raspberries, but try as she might, Catherine is still Abridgedless.....

Em surprises herself by arriving in ENGLAND early, and decides to compose a poem although she won’t be present for “Bring an Ode Night”. Catherine WOOTs for up-to-date Abridged at last, and pimps Judybaby’s new Over 18 B&G vid....... Miss Hyde joins Poetry Corner, and Vanessa68 makes her first appearance on the thread with a bit of a larf.... She’s welcomed by Els, armed with a can of Irn-Bru, an over-emotional Sparkle and slightly dotty Euphemia...... Louby pops in before she goes visiting, and wishes Eeyore luck with her test results. She has also shown her DVD player who’s boss, and berates herself for p***ing about on other forums, when she could have been reading sh*te in ENGLAND!

Jo reckons she can rustle up an old pome for ‘Odefest’ tonight, and suggests a gag for Wulfy Wildness, but not for Euphemia as it may stifle her creativity.... Em grins like an eejit, as a handsome hunk of woodworker promises her a large one, Eva’s gone off weddings, and Els just wishes for handsomeness to visit her office.....It does, in the form of Sparrowspam from Em. Del does EasyInternet again, and picks The Stranger as her fave Gerry role, and scores a triple vision of Gerliciousness due to a migraine. Jo sympathises with Del’s sinus migraine, and offers her JD Yahoo pics as consolation, which keeps Els entertained for hours......Em, Jo and Del consider the long and the short of Gerriness, but time and the internet wait for no woo-man, and Del is grouphugged before her money runs out. Catherine wants the Stranger to play it again Sam, and Goffy misses Del by mere posts but catches up with Em instead.... Els looks forward to therapeutic decorating and ENGLAND ponder picking up their brushes....Jo and Goffy love velvet-topped Terry, Lady Claire jumps in with both feet to report that Wulfy has finally turned up at hers, Berenise is unlucky in Gerdreams, and Sparkle warns not to eat at Grandma’s!

Elb gets in from work to find she has been visited by the burglar-fairies and her house is in disarray..... (They didn’t get in, she’s just messy.....) ENGLAND rally round to offer ears to bend and shoulders to cry on, all gratefully received but thankfully not needed. She does time with an assortment of plods and Marsha sends consoling Wet Gerries to help Elb get over the ‘trauma’........ Vanessa thanks ENGLAND for the welcome, Goffy posts a consolation yellow towel, and Elb awards herself a large stiff red card. ‘Bring an Ode Night’ gets off to a great start with Euphemia’s version of POTO, Jo writes in praise of Gerard Butler, and Goffy gets poetically hot under the collar with an ode to Terriness. Vanessa pleads for help with pictures, and Cathy gives an unpoetic progress report on her domestic decorating with Dad....... Breila reappears and plunges straight into the Gutler, aided by Euphemia, Jo and Goffy’s ditties, while Goffy attempts to give Vanessa lessons in Photobucket...... Yorkie’s ode in praise of ENGLAND has rhyme AND reason, while Breila can see neither in the current crime spree - not only Elb but her cousin and friend too have had their knickers rifled........ Euphemia reckons Vanessa is a woman after her own heart - she too delegates technical expertise to computer-literate kids, while Eeyore, back from the quack’s has indeed got a lazy thyroid like Louby, and is relieved to finally know. Jo feels all warm and fuzzy after Yorkie’s poem, but realises it’s her overheating laptop, and friend, Yorkie and countrywoo-man lends her ears in exchange for light listening duties performed by Elb the other day....... Marsha de-lurks to sympathise with Elb and gets a compliment from a stranger, while sleep-deprived Euphemia wonders about wandering hands in her knickers and wallows in her own waffle...... Yorkie introduces herself to Vanessa as quiet and sensible, but Euphemia thanks God that not one of ENGLAND is quiet, or even remotely sensible, and Breila too is chuffed to be cherished by punters.....

Elb -and her patio door - is back on track after working through sundry policefolk and a chap with large suckers, and is a wiser if poorer bunny..... Vanessa assures ENGLAND that she too is slightly unhinged, and will therefore fit into the asylum, and hyperactive Elb announces that Sensible is not an idea that ENGLAND entertains. Goffy posts a giggle, Elb posts Itchy and Scratchy, and Yorkie and Catherine rhyme onwards....... Elb demonstrates how QUIET AND INTROSPECTIVE she is, Sparkle is squiffy, and Gracie gets intimately reacquainted with Gerry’s Big Black Box, while pure-of-thought Goffy combs B&G for the famously lumpy chainmail. Marsha wants to be a manatee when she grows up, Catherine begins Bulgespam to aid Goffy in her search, and Jo earns another red card with the mention of ‘sword envy’....... Yorkie helps look for lumps, while Tina wails for the want of Wulfy and goes deep down into Gutler territory. Jo remarks on Gerry’s large Coke, Euphemia and Yorkie just can’t stop posting in rhyme, and Gerry’s Coke is weighed, measured and most definitely wanted..... Elb sulks, as she wanted to do the “large Coke” gag, but manages a spectacular shower of red cards for her ensuing comment instead. Gracie briefly joins in limericking but bids the Bards and Burns of ENGLAND goodnight, and newbie Vanessa teeters on the brink of PG-13 by wondering if Phanty has a concealed weapon about his person..... Tina admits she has a soft spot for Drac, while Elb boasts that she has two........ and demonstrates quite ably with her buxom boob-shaking emoticon, and Els ends her evening with a rhyme and a smile...... Jo and Goffy discover they are fetish twins, Yorkie casually tosses off another little ditty, and Euphemia laughs till she leaks......

Eeyore and Vanessa both admit to hoarding chocolate, drawing disbelieving gasps from Euphemia and Elb, while Els flutters off to bed, made delirious by Depp’s digits, and Elb is kept up by BritTart burblings..... Breila busts her ROF cherry, and celebrates with a needy-Creedy ditty, and ENGLAND decide to rhyme on a regular basis. Terminally tired Elb wants ‘Guest Abridgers’ and posts her latest ode a la Purple Ronnie, while Euphemia is stuck in ‘verse gear’......... Jo wants a bite of what Elb’s having, Vanessa wants to dangle from The Stranger’s lips, and there is a hail of picspam from Jo, Goffy and Eeyore as they try to decide their favourite fetishes.........Jo longs for Wulfy floaters in her bath, Euphemia has a quickie couplet before bed, and Vanessa apologises in advance for being AWOL tomorrow as she has murder in mind..... Jo assures her it’s perfectly normal in ENGLAND, and Yorkie pokes Gerry’s tongue out while starting a new thread before bedtime.... Exhausted Elb posts a sentimental little ode in praise of her mates, and finishes with succinct instructions on how to retire for the night.

Finally, Yorkie gets it up, and Jo links Vanessa through to ENGLAND 108 - BritTarts have too much sun and start rhyming......

Despite Yorkie beginning the thread with Yellow Towellage, Eeyore posts Balespam which crashes Jo’s lappy, and she daren’t look at Marsha’s links for fear of a crash too far..... Elb’s final flibble is a farewell to friends, with Mini-Marek mounting guard on her desk, and ENGLAND manage poetry-spam as Jo tries to bed the thread down for the night, but Marsha, Vanessa and Breila are seemingly powered by Duracell. However, after many educational tips and hints for Vanessa in the ways of Picture Posting, Marsha bids goodnight in verse and ‘Bring an Ode Night’ is over.......... for now....