ENGLAND 102ish - still in mourning - but not for long.....

Gusti once more is up with the lark and nervous about the day ahead. Euphemia can’t sleep, so hits Breakfast Club instead, and gives a brief lesson in Urdu..... Elb, after assuring long-gone Gusti she is fine, rattles on about diet then she and Euphemia discuss the merits of instant coffee versus stewed-overnight and reheated varnish which appears to be Euph’s choice..... Catherine just catches Elb as she hoists the latest Abridged up and heads off to work, and Euphemia has to feed and water Hagar, home from the hunt...... Els blitzes through en route to work, and Catherine is last out into the Real World....

Em posts in from her new/old job where she gets free access to broadband aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllll day. This could be a long day......... Miss Hyde WOOTs for miserable weather, which spawns wannabee weathergirls across the country: Els in Portsmouth, (sunny/cloudy with a good breeze) Jo in Wiltshire, (cold and wet) and Em in the Midlands is about to get a monsoon which will conveniently wash the cowpat sized bird doo-doo off her car! The nomadic Delanie returns to ENGLAND at lunchtime, having moved into temporary accomodation with unforgiving mirrors.... She vows to get more exercise....... Masochistic Em delights in watching folk get soaked in the rain whilst lazing in reception with only critters for company, and she and Del go wildlife spotting, joined by Evangelia in Edinburgh (sunny).... Del spots a rare Ben Fogle in his habitat at Longleat, while Em’s customary naturewatch is interrupted by work...... Del promises to return wherever she can find a computer, and leaves Em to play with picspam, while Els keeps an eye on her from work, where she is supposed to be.....er...... working! Goffy is shocked to find Em in ENGLAND, and elicits more information on Em’s Gerry-dream in which he keeps his helmet on........ Jo gets the drift, and Em gets down to basics, while Goffy dreams of Wet Gerry, but can’t keep up. Em doesn’t even try, but still gets to wear Gerryonidas’ cloak, while wondering how Nessie was ensnared. Red cards flutter gently in the breeze...... Goffy vows to get Gerry to say “Holy Haggis Holder”, Em can’t be arsed to catch up and Els dreams of faceless wonders. Goffy plots a BritTart invasion of the States to reclaim Gerry, and Em issues hollow threats..... Goffy misses Gerry’s rrrrrrrrr’s - so to speak - and puts together a BritTart Emergency accent Recovery Pack to which Em contributes tartan underpants and ginger wig with obligatory silly tam o’shanter attached.... Els adds shortbread and Scotch, Em pops in a haggis and Els goes in search of more red cards...... Evangelia and Em mount a DIY campaign for Burns to be made, and Els baggsies Assistant Director’s dominatrix spot, Em makes up, but Goffy prefers the hands-on challenge of being Wardrobe Mistress... Her interpretation of a Director’s job is a bit Hokey-Cokey, but as long as Gerry shakes it all about, she’s happy! Em dreams of tickling G’s facey, and Miss Hyde is jealous that all the good jobs are taken by the time she gets in to ENGLAND. Els interviews her for the position of principal blanket holder/actor warmer ...........

Elb gets in from work to find that the mythical film company has caused her emails to runneth over, and Goffy blames it all on the ‘E’s........and has problems with her new lappy over headphones. ENGLAND try to help. Goffy gets technical, and Elb speaks in tongues, Euphemia arrives and runs away again, while Miss Hyde’s head explodes at Elb’s pseudo-technobabble.......... Goffy emails Elb’s burbling to hubby for a translation, and Els gets distracted by Deppness. Or knees. She picspams Depp’s delights to ENGLAND, and Elb is suitably flabberghasted...... Her ghast has never been more flabbered, but she still finds time to issue an Elbmit End of Thread Alert! Catherine waves the flag in Gerry’s corner, and GB wins again.... Els gives in grudgingly, and asks for the honour of threadstarting 103.... Louby faces catastrophe when her lappy gets amnesia and won’t let her log in, Gusti gets in from a long day, and feels all warm and fuzzy when reading messages left on the thread for her......

The site burps gently and ENGLAND are temporarily locked out, but things are hunkydory again before long, and the Team slide gracefully into the new thread set up by Els: ENGLAND moves on for the 103rd time (and we’re still smelling of roses!) First past the first poster is Elb who is still trying to Abridge, followed by Catherine, relieved that ENGLAND are out of cyber-purgatory..... Gusti repeats her post about warm fuzziness, Goffy asks Drac or Wulfy for vidding material, and Sparkle succeeds in Tart Training........ The family Sparkle are to entertain lunatic rellies for a holiday, and Catherine goes into Hokey-Cokey posting mode whilst watching telly. Euphemia is at the end of her tether with obstreperous kids - both hers and others - and asks for ENGLAND to visit when she goes down for manslaughter. Sparkle gets the boot, so beggars off for the night, and Marsha is glad for Gusti in her new job, while Louby sympathises with Euphemia over truculent children.

Eeyore’s eye comes out in sympathy with Gusti’s and gets gunky.... She is delighted that her new toy has been swapped, and gets a compliment from the Gorgeous Gareth. Marsha gets her days mixed up, and Jo’s Dyson bites the dust, giving her time to catch up with Team ENGLAND’s DIY ‘Burns’, while Goffy decides that Wulfy will star in her upcoming vid. There are fireworks for Eeyore, and Jo blames Gerry for the demise of her hoover. She tells Euphemia that “Dull women have imaculate houses” by which premise, Elb should win the competition for Most Exciting Tart ever! Euphemia wonders if her husband will fall for that one.... Psychic Eeyore begs Goffy to do “B&G Does Braveheart” for her birthday, and Miss Hyde drops in from campanology club to bid ENGLAND goodnight. Marsha recounts her weekend B&Gfest with the Carolina Tarts, then gets on her soapbox about fans demanding too much of Gerry, rather than letting him go when he has appointments......Eeyore explains to Marsha about November the 5th traditions in Blighty (a word derived from Urdu!), and Euphemia finally takes her throbbing head to bed. Elb returns from LostWatch to peace and quiet, as almost all of ENGLAND have gone to bed, and worries aloud over BabyElb’s imminent knee operation......

Jo, returning late from a doze through a Colin Farrell movie, wishes BabyElb well and closes the thread down for the night.........