ENGLAND 95: The temperature soars still higher...

Elb shuffles in on early shift, having got up at 5 as her work have changed hours to take advantage of the cooler morning weather. She grouses about family trouble last night, and didn’t mince words with her sister’s partner, then heads off to get to work for 6am..... Gusti gets into BC not long after, and sympathising with now departed Elb, recounts her experiences with online dating services. Catherine is next on parade, having got a day off, and Gusti thanks ENGLAND for their good wishes yesterday... She hits 2000 posts, and Catherine draws attention to the Wrath of Gods site which asks if anyone is interested in the DVD featuring Wulfy’s strip....... Stupid question! Gusti heads out to face her bosses, Del pokes her head in and Blu meets Gerard who prefers being called Gerry, but not THE Gerry.... Catherine starts off the birthday wishes for Marsha, followed by Els and Elb, who posts from work at lunchtime - at 11.30! She reports gleefully that Wulfy has just turned up at work......

Laydee of Leisure Em has a fabbo day out with friend, non-whinger Blu too feels the heat, and Goffy and Del have taken root in front of the fan.....Els wants rid of her white bits but has to bare with it indoors, and Jo wonders if the Wrath of Gods documentary will be sans box..... Philosophical birthday girl Marsha turns up to thank ENGLAND for the good wishes, and Pennsylvanian Del votes for iced tea every time.... Down in Devon, life gets breezy for Catherine and Em thinks glaucoma’s a git, but such is life...Loubylou seems destined to stay put after no job news, but promises more playtime with ENGLAND soon.

Earlybird Elb goes all Elbmit over the arrival of her new washer and goes loony over laundry, then departs for work once more but for pleasure not business, as it is Hunky Firemen Night..... Euphemia arrives with profound apologies for her non-attendance at BC this morning as she had lost her connection, Berenise wilts while her dog has wind, and leaking Jo too has problems with her log..... Euphemia thinks it’s too hot to think.... so how did she actually think THAT?? Sparkle implements stage two of Operation Tart Conversion by forcing her friend to listen to Gerry’s singing, and Cathy gets breezy with Jamie, while Berenise pimps him to her friend. Tina wilts, and namedrops Gerry, David and Nigel, while Marsha gets laughed at by Auntie for doing the same.......

Yorkie twiddles her thumbs in quiet ENGLAND until Gracie comes out to play, but she abandons her in favour of telly, and Catherine and Del are in and out, while Euphemia throws in the towel for a shower....... Cathy ponders that going senile means getting fitter, and Eeyore grumbles about no air-con, but is compensated by Gorgeous Gareth in shorts.... Jo has trouble with the weather, the site, and clumsy daughters, Gracie too forgets what she went upstairs for, but remembers that her in-laws are coming for a fortnight - a fact she’d rather forget! Catherine thinks it’s raining sprinklers and much of ENGLAND retire early due to the heat....Yorkie finds people in ENGLAND at last, but no Gerry to her disappointment, and senile ENGLAND batten down the hatches in advance of impending storms... Gusti is in good spirits after resigning goes better than hoped, and she has another chat-athon with the mysterious Mr T....... Eeyore bemoans the lack of plastic, which means she’ll never know what her online flirt said to her, and after adding her congratulations to Gusti, Yorkie departs in preparation for a secret early-morning assignation...Cathy continues the senility debate, uncertain whether she’d been or not and leaves her head out of her morning ablutions.... Gracie hopes her Mother-in-Law is better-tempered, and asks who Mr T is, completely oblivious to passing 1000 posts...Eeyore and Jo immediately launch the WOOTs, and Gusti explains how she found Mr T on a singles site, and is to finally meet him on Sunday.

Elb gets back from playing with the Big Boys, and launches Fireman spam..... Jo envies Eeyore’s heavenly trip round a new stationery store, and goes green at the sight of Elb’s sister held aloft by hunky firemen! Gusti congratulates Elb on the advent of her new washing machine, and declares it a day for WOOTing....Jo agrees and WOOTs prematurely for Cathy, belatedly for Gusti’s 2000th and doubles it as she can now see sigs and notifications! Eeyore admits she too is a stationery addict, and Cathy takes a photo of her messy drawers, while over-excited Elb posts yet more fireman-spam, including her own personal firefighter with and without kit! Gusti feels her new job deserves new stationery, and Cathy, Gracie and Eeyore want to order their own firemen from a catalogue. With or without firemen, Cathy declares it as the hottest July day on record, Elb wonders what she’s missed after an eventful day, and Gusti has high hopes for Scotland-loving Mr T! Goffy arrives after a struggle, and enters the WOOTing frenzy, although it’s far too hot to WOOT..... Elb threatens to turn into the Incredible Elbmit-Hulk, so ENGLAND decide not to rile her, and Gracie can’t move Scotland from her pooter to her Photobucket, while Goffy and restless Tina are well impressed that the wondrous Mr T can converse for 4 hours at a stretch!

Jo worries about crumpled Gerry on a clip from BOAW, and Goffy looks forward to tearful Gerry, but her in-laws are out-laws, while late-night Elb issues weather warnings, and a Late Abridged warning before turning in for the very short night.....Gracie wonders if we’ll see Gerry on Wossy when BOAW opens, and wishes Elb Wet Wulfy dreams....... The remaining ENGLAND stalwarts sign out, and ENGLAND sleep uneasily in the sultry night..............