ENGLAND 91 - and counting......

Despite not a lot of sleep, Elb is up and at ‘em early, to make up for yesterday’s late start - only to discover Gusti has now joined the ranks of the Bloggerati...... She has popped in during the night to leave a link to her musings on her trip to Scotland, and left her apologies for her no-show at Breakfast Club.... Snow joins BC on a part-time basis and thinks last night’s postings were ‘offal’..... Catherine has been reading the reactions to an unflattering article in the NY Observer which concentrates on the Tart aspect of B&G rather than Gerry and his abilities..... Euphemia joins BC, and Jo, angry at the piece in the NY Observer offers to teach the author what hormonal really means.....Elb thinks she fits the author’s identifan picture: middle-aged hormonal woo-man..... with dolly. Eek! She makes a note to leave mini-Marek at home when Tarting About, so as not to verify the fact that she’s a fully paid-up member of the Loony Brigade..... ENGLAND have a grumpy and hormonal joint outburst at the article, and Euphemia plans on being enigmatic at TartCon2 if accosted by journos, while Jo acts like a true woo-man and thinks of ice-cream in her time of stress..... It’s National Ice Cream Day, and she plans to celebrate the fact with Hot Scots, while Snow anticipates Somebody posting Tennant picspam.....Bleary-eyed Gusti appears after her marathon bloggerage of the previous night, and Euphemia thanks ENGLAND for their glowing critique of her performance, then sends Misu to school with Tesco on his back.... Jo is relieved that snake baguettes are off, as pool-cue lunchboxes won’t fit in the fridge... Gusti and Snow discuss holiday photos, and Snow confesses hers are STILL not sorted despite getting back a year ago! Gusti looks forward to work on Monday, discovers it’s a Bank Holiday, then it isn’t......

Els does elevenses and shows ENGLAND her spookily accurate neon horoscope, resolves to take charge, and test-drives a new book on ENGLAND’s behalf.... and all before lunch! Em joins her, having spent the night with Cap’n Jack, and Yorkie isn’t really here but does a great impression of domestic servitude...She is cheered by the fact that Gerry appears to like Northern lassies and elbows Queen Gorgo out of the picture... Gusti heads out to satisfy her stationery cravings, and Blu makes another rare appearance to announce that she will spend Sunday being target-practise for laser-wielding depilators..... Goffy decides today is pants, and meets Em for afternoon tea and a hug... Red Death Phanty soon cheers her up, although the discovery that she can’t afford anything in the latest POTO auctions on eBay doesn’t help, but items are already fetching silly prices. ENGLAND are fresh out of silly money, but watch wistfully as prices soar.... Itchy-fingered Els sits on her wallet and makes do with 18 inches of Jack in the meantime, and Jo celebrates National Ice Cream Day with a veritable feast of ice-cream-inspired picspam! Some of her serving suggestions leave ENGLAND hot under the collar......... For some strange reason, Catherine craves frozen dessert, and Els blames subliminal advertising, while Miss Hyde goes pressie-shopping for friends and rewards herself with pieces of Who and Depp for being such a good friend in the first place....

Catherine has a waterfight with dogs, but comes off worst. Having seen the ritual humiliation of the hairnet inflicted on Dog 1, Dog 2 gets wise and retreats...... Jo too is getting foamy with ferrets, while Euphemia and Gusti stay dry but miserable as their budgets can’t stretch to anything Phanty......

Tina greets “Tarts, Hags, Pirates and Tennant-Totty fans’, longs for Mint Choc Chip, and covers most topics in a single post whereas it takes Elb all night and more grey hairs than she cares for...... Sparkle arrives, having been AWOL for too long, but catches up with the ever-handy Abridged. Lazy Gusti is ice-creamless, but offers strawberries and cream to Goffy..... ENGLAND are most impressed with Gusti’s travel-blog, but work got in the way for Elb, so she hasn’t yet read it. She gleefully tells ENGLAND that her local firefighters are to do training in her workplace next week, and has volunteered for Damsel in Distress Duty..... Catherine relieves her aching back in the bath recently vacated by pooches, and dreams longingly of Phantom of the eBay, while Gusti alarms Elb by vowing to teach herself ‘Elb’..... Sparkle updates the thread on her poorly but improving friend, and holds the door open for Del before heading for the ice-cream freezer. Gusti multi-tarts with Paul ‘Timeline’ Walker, Heath ‘Casanova’ Ledger and her photobucket....... Sparkle gets saucy with her ice-cream, Detective Cathy solves the Mystery of the Missing Cutlery, and Del wants something more.... Sparkle finishes Jamie off and promptly cheats on him by seeking new literary experiences, while fickle-fancied Jo eyes up Walker’s tum....... Breila saunters in after a lazy afternoon in the sun, longs for a liitle something from POTO, and ponders why she is an enigma.... Del simmers, and Els is in the money after cashing in on Auntie Liz’s birthday bash.... She sails off into the sunset with a new pirate-love.......

Del has a desire for Chocolat-Depped Johnny, and Elb just can’t keep it up.... Her Get-Up-and-Go has got up and gone, and she is all behind..... Els leaves some unopenable pressies and Del leaves some that CAN be opened, while Em opens a whole can of worms with BT’s service.... Goffy returns after slaving away over a hot vid, and Yorkie joins the crew after bidding on a poster in the POTO eBay auction....Elb is confoosed, and ENGLAND opens a mutual admiration society for Gusti’s brilliant blog, Del’s stunning siggies, and Em has a few choice words for BT too..... Gusti minds her manners, while Cathy minds her calories and misses out on the ice cream. Elb gives Breila tips for eBay, and gets a wrinkly chin from over-drooling. Yorkie dubs Gusti ‘Brave-Tart’ for her solo travels, and envies Elb her exciting life of new loos and lovely Duncans.....Breil dreams of Gerard Butler, composer of ballet for the Opera Garnier, and Cathy recalls the afterglow of hers but not much else! Em manages a Magnum, and Del can’t stop snickers over sporrans, while Yorkie risks her fillings on sweeties. Cathy goes off to bed with Laurent, eager to return to Jamie, and Gusti the Brave-Tart posts a piccy of Brave-Cow......

Jo issues an End of Thread Alert, but Elb has it in hand already, and ENGLAND 92: Just Keep Blowing! (only another 7 red balloons to go....) rises majestically into the ether....

As the Queen’s “Annus Horribilis” didn’t inspire Elb, she decides to irritate everyone with the Nena song from the eighties instead. Yorkie lets off steam about her daydream concerning saunas, clouds of steam lifting and yellow towels..... Elb’s tired brain carefully rearranges the words to conjure up her own steamy fantasies, while Snow is getting left behind as ENGLAND plows full steam ahead! Gusti runs out of steam, and heads off to bed while slightly hysterical Del rises to new heights, and starts SHOUTING IN BIG TEXT....... She has only just spotted the title of the new thread.... Snow and Del are seeing things, and Del spontaneously combusts..... Poor Em’s connection is slow, and by the time she posts, Del and Snow are off on another tangent, so she decides to hit the hay instead, but before she goes, Goffy WOOTs for Em’s 3000th post! Eeyore, late as usual, manages a record six-WOOTer, despite being in mid-rant about inefficient colleagues..... Jo, returning from the shower, slips in a quick WOOT for Em’s 3000th, and gets news that Wulfy is on his way..... Breila reveals that Gerry’s cape has sold for £4,200 on eBay, and Jo longs for just a few measly inches.... Eeyore hopes she’ll be seat-mates with the lovely Gareth tomorrow, but doesn’t hold her breath, and Jo and Breila look for the Golden Lining on eBay. Snow gives up as it’s too busy at work, and the remaining members of Team ENGLAND decide to call it a night........