ENGLAND 86 - Ger-nobyl: BritTarts reach meltdown........

Thinking she and Catherine will be posting in synchronisation again, Elb hurries to crank out a post after seeing Gusti’s apologies for non-attendance, but is alone in ENGLAND until an exhausted Catherine arrives too weary to try anything clever.....Euphemia joins them as one-third-of-the-Paranoia-Triplets Catherine struggles with her errant siggy, while Elb whinges about muesli and checks her teeth.... Euphemia polishes her running shoes in preparation for a roasting sports day, and a shame-faced Elb confesses to having got one of the KT Tarts, Peigi, to order her a length of Gerriness......12 inches in fact......Catherine’s siggy returns briefly, then goes AWOL again..... Snow joins ENGLAND for breakfast, and she and Euphemia are envious of Elb’s purchase, while Jo congratulates her on becoming a Marek-Mummy! Catherine gets hot and bothered over a Low Flying Kiwi vid, and hopes for thunder, while everyone else heads out to start their day, and in Snow’s case, end it! Gusti turns up, despite her avowals to the contrary, but gets her priorities right.... Blu complains about Poms complaining, and loves getting sweaty, while Gusti’s still running on UK time, and her breakfast date cancels.... Catherine is back for second sitting, and she, Gusti, Del and Breila indulge in that most British of pastimes, discussing the weather..... which is curious, as Catherine is the only Brit! Em heads out to the garden having caught up with BC, and Miss Hyde has loads to do before she does nothing...

Only Del does lunch, and it is much later when Jo gets home, hot and sticky after herding cats for sports day. Goffy apologises for last night, after failing to boot out a friend, and Em spots something sh*gadelic in Jo’s post........which Elb, fresh out of the shower, can’t see. Catherine, equally perplexed by Goffy & Em’s comments, goes to check out the LFK vid again..... She advises Elb to keep the shower running, as she will need it again after watching “Push Up”...... Euphemia thanks ENGLAND for their congratulations on Magdalena’s behalf, and has to replace her eyeballs after viewing the vid in question. Frustrated Goffy pimps Em’s new vid, Jo multi-tarts while downloading Em’s masterpiece, and Goffy turns private dick to investigate A Certain Scene....Sparkle heads off to get knotted up at yoga and Miss Hyde bids farewell to ENGLAND as she leaves for pastures Liverpudlian, albeit temporarily.... Elb sheepishly confesses her new addiction, welcomes Lady Claire back to ENGLAND, and ponders the whys and wherefores of being a Muppet, sad or otherwise.... Gusti has been sitting for so long at her computer, that she has become part of it, and her fingers are sore from typing.... Goffy worries about Elb’s purchases, but she assures Goffy that no moles were harmed in the making of Moleskine notebooks..... Foryoureyesonly - Barbara is hungry like a wolf,eats like a horse and joins StatAnon with glee, while Euphemia concurs with young Goffy in that Mr Butler’s OUTSTANDING performance in Lucy Sullivan merits closer inpection indeed. (Safety goggles will be provided, as we don’t want anyone’s eye poked out.....) Gusti is happy to be back in the madhouse that is Team ENGLAND, but needs time to reflect on her experiences, and the fact that she has only been away two weeks, yet her fingers think it was longer... Euphemia is into being stationary rather than stationery, but changes her mind, and Catherine’s dog has a ‘butter-wouldn’t-melt-in-my-mouth” look, but the marinaded doggy chops give the game away. Goffy thinks she’s a Muppet after worrying about skinned moles, and finally confesses she’s not a Stationeryholic! ENGLAND is aghast! Euphemia reckons her hubby needs SatNav to find the kitchen, but would be useless once there, whereas Catherine’s hubby does all the cooking.... Barbara and Goffy get the munchies after watching Gerryvids, and light-headed Elb floats off to see what road-kill she has for dinner.... Catherine eBays for everythhing, and Barbara feels at home in ENGLAND, while Elb becomes a TV announcer. Yorkie heads off to watch ‘Push Up’, reminding Elb that she hasn’t yet watched it........The Paranoia Twins do synchronised smut-viewing, while Goffy thinks of pizza, and Cathy’s too hot to pedal, and is despondent about her entry in the video competition. Gusti thinks of pineapple rings after seeing Gus in all his glory, and Elb returns after viewing the Gorgeous Gus vid..... Alter-ego Elbmit races around the thread in hysterics.......ENGLAND get hot under the collar with salami jokes, and Goffy does screenshots to check.... Tina arrives in the midst of meltdown, and goes off to check things out for herself, while Elb gets concerned that Yorkie is still not back..... Yorkie returns briefly to assure all that she is still in the land of the living, but goes back for another peek at His Studliness..... Team ENGLAND get down to some serious research, and comes to the unanimous conclusion that NOBODY compares to Big Ger....Goffy passes out yellow towels to all...

Breila skips in unawares, having been completely spoiled by her loving Mum, but appreciates it....Del hasn’t got over 18 access despite being somewhat older, and neither has Breila...... ENGLAND is smug in the knowledge that they have SEEN the light..... Del comes to certain conclusions about Team ENGLAND - all correct! Cathy rants because she wants Lucy Sullivan on DVD, and falls into her drool bucket, while ENGLAND jostles for position in the queue for screen-caps from Goffy. Yorkie can’t zoom, Breila/Laura spouts Useless Information about the Orkneys, and Euphemia also has techno-trouble without Magdalena.....Still not-quite-right Del desperately awaits the download, and Catherine threatens to spit the dummy.... Els is a triple thunker, Tina returns unexpectedly to find a whopper, and the PM chain begins..... Goffy makes it easier by linking direct to her Photobucket, but the message will self-destruct shortly..... Jo remarks how apt the thread title is considering the weather AND the hot topic of conversation tonight, Gusti swoons, and Euphemia fears she will be left out of the loop. Cathy leaves it to her imagination, Tina manages a quintuple thud, and Del STILL hasn’t finished downloading.... Yorkie volunteers for Threadstarting duty, while Barbs arrives and pleads for the Gerriness to be passed to her and Karan too. Del announces Lucy is not for sale and Elb stirs things up with a deliberate misunderstanding of Jo’s comment. Cathy’s brain is fried and she gets her feet mixed up, and Elb issues a Sweaty Sawyer alert, as Lost is about to start.

Yorkie begins the next thread with ‘ENGLAND 87 degrees - Hot & steamy (and we don’t mean the heatwave....) continuing the theme of the last thread. ENGLAND is undergoing their own personal heatwave, and Breila needs a dip after only seeing the stills.... Del goes down.... and comes up with a smile, and the Twins learn a thing or two. Del’s download is achingly slow, and much of the team sign off to watch ‘Lost’. Breila sits in the ENGLAND sauna, enjoying the steam from Goffy’s pictures, and Daft has her bedtime fantasy sorted - as does Yorkie, who fuels up with Irn-Bru concoctions.... Catherine’s PC gets in a strop, Em comes and goes, and Gusti WOOTs for Italy in the footie. Catherine gives in and retires to bed wondering how many of Team ENGLAND will have Gus-inspired dreams tonight? Gusti does loop-the-loop on seeing Em, who has been to a homicidal play, and Goffy reveals she’s 14th overall.... Daft does her nails, but finds the right a bit of a bugger, Yorkie ponders over the barbarism of the Culloden fiasco as depicted on telly last night, and ruefully compares it with the descriptions from Outlander.....She admonishes Goffy for talking of Gerry pop-ups, and Em tells of the play wot she went to see. Eeyore finally arrives in ENGLAND, having caught up and watching THE VIDEO! She proudly announces that she has broken her telephonic duck and talked to punters on the blower, while Em has paid up for her Glasgow tickets and Gusti is stunned to see she is today’s Top Poster. She warns that she may not do breakfast tomorrow, and Goffy goes to bed with ammunition for spicy dreams of Butler and Bale... (Sounds like a firm of solicitors!) Elb finally reappears, having struggled tartfully - and failed - to keep up. She retires to bed, secure in the knowledge that the blog will get done in the morning... Jo goes off to iron (eek!) and Eeyore needs to be refreshed to deal with the Sponging Public.

ENGLAND settle down in anticipation of dreams of Gus’s gorgeousness...........