ENGLAND 84, going on ENGLANDAID 85.......

Catherine rants alone in Sunday morning Breakfast Club, having been disturbed by late-night revellers. Tina arrives two hours later feeling unwell, and asks advice - Blu and Catherine offer their considered opinions, and Tina, a long-term Doc-dodger, would visit more if he looked like His Tennantness.......All is quiet again until Elb disturbs ENGLAND’s domesticity to comment on the thundery weather and the after-effects of a night on the beer for footie-depressed England....... It’s all to much for weary Catherine, who is in need of a nap, and Jo drops in from Oz to invite ENGLAND to lunch at the Cool Koala Cafe where calories are banned......Euphemia burns out early after chores, and plans for a lazy day thereafter, while idle Elb thanks all who WOOTed for her 5000th post and is pleased to see rain, as it mean she is justified in not mowing her jungle..... The penalty however, is Sunday dinner with her parents..... Euphemia is back to low-decibel typing, while Sparkle visits Elb’s icon factory and posts a 5000th WOOT congratulations before heading off for family celebrations. Euphemia tells Jo it’s hot enough to cook monkey-butts, while Jo thinks Elb needs to get a life, until Elb points out that fellow OzTart Qweenie has both Life and BF, and is still ahead.... Eeyore joins the ranks of ENGLAND’s martyrs to pollen, Euphemia and Elb discuss simian haute-cuisine, and Jo starts the day with a stutter....Eeyore aims for 1000 posts, and Elb-Euph-Eeyore exchange shop-talk..... Euphemia likes shopping and sex, but not together, and confesses she only participates in one....Eeyore’s village rations it, and Elb can do it 24 hours a day if she wants..... (The topic is STILL shopping....)

The thread careers to the very edge of 84, and Em is working, so suggestions for titles are requested. ENGLAND mull over events of 1985, which for Euphemia, included being booted out of Romania as a persona non grata.....Miss Hyde comes up trumps with mention of Live Aid, which Elb swiftly converts into:

ENGLANDAID 85 - Feed the TartWorld!

Goffy is first into the new thread, and makes Elb feel all her 47 years and then some, by stating she was 8 at the time...... Miss Hyde wasn’t yet a twinkle, and Jo was sweet 16. Catherine admits to being a slightly older vintage, and Euphemia keeps her year of manufacture a secret....... Miss Hyde is excited about seeing wrinkly and somewhat dead rock stars, and Clan Paranoia reveal yet more coincidences with Elb and Catherine both having the same pop star’s autograph..... Elb offends Miss Hyde with her comments about old rockers, and beats a strategic retreat just as Daft rushes into the thread like a blue-arsed fly........ Miss Hyde sulks, being a teenager, and all goes quiet until late afternoon when Barbs, Eeyore and Jo gather for afternoon tea. Chilly Goffy posts *gasp* a non-Gerry pic as a cold bath has obviously affected her, and Team ENGLAND venture to discuss other fanciable actors.... Daft finally puts her feet up, and reveals a little of her home life, while ENGLAND pimp Christian Bale pics.... then discuss what they are currently watching: Eeyore - ‘Monster-in’law’, Daft: Anniversary of the Somme, Goffy: Live 8 documentary. Em gets home from work exhausted after decorating children, and Eeyore posts the first of the promised Attilaspam, while Catherine jumps on the cheating bandwagon with Richard Armitage.... Tina scolds ENGLAND but then admits she’s a hussy and reels off her bonkable list...Jo launches a triple salvo of Attila, while Snow joins in from Michigan, recalling her poodle-haired days from 1985 and announcing that bum-boiling weather there means the freaks are out in force... Els interrupts with news that she had a romantic near-miss, and bearing a shed-load of Tennant-Tottiness of the highest order! Tina is delighted (as is Elb much later) and Catherine takes it as her cue to go and watch Doctor Who.... Em gradually recovers from over-heating and over-working but has to cook, Jo quivers at Tennant-tongue porn and Tina cheats on Gerry still more. Eeyore’s imagination gets her hot under the collar at Goffy’s texts to Em, Jo irons with Terry-Gerry and Sparkle agrees with Catherine on the Richard Armitage droolage....Tina is still not well, and heads out early, missing Delanie who is back from her travels again, and ever-so-slightly excited at the news that Team ENGLAND is going to TartCon2.... Em wants to lick tellies, Sparkle is off to get a double dose of Jack Bauer, and Daft gives a weather warning. ENGLAND is already melting.....Yorkie appears, and heads off to recap while Del suffers for her art, and posts gorgeous photos galore.... Breila may be going to Scotland, and Del is off on another trip. Yorkie is shocked by ENGLAND’s infidelity and Elb returns from undergoing full roast dinner torture at her folks’...Goffy insists that G is her No. 1 despite sneaking peeks elsewhere, but this doesn’t wash with Yorkie who declares no contest between Phanty v Pyjamaman. Els has hysterics at POTC commentary, and Del cheats on Gerry doggy-style, while Em and Yorkie sing Attila-flake ads....Goffy goes bats for Bale and is glad he has no nipples, and Eeyore agrees... Em falls into the Gutler and Del posts ghosts, while Breila is a POTC virgin. She too has done her daughterly duty, but goes to the wrong house for dinner...ENGLAND urge her to watch POTC, and Elb ponders asking her parents to move, then forgetting where they live.... She jumps into the Gutler along with Yorkie, and posts up a wet Gerry, causing Yorkie to self-moderate madly..... Jo helps Eeyore crank up her post count, but she can’t decide on her favourite GB film, and Elb confesses to spending the afternoon in bed with a Hot Scot and a fan.... Miss Hyde does a fly-by, and is still mad at Elb for dissing the Who earlier, and Catherine feels a psychic connection with Yorkie who has posted the same private screening theatre as she did some dozens of threads ago.... Snow is hoovering pictures as fast as the team post them, but disagrees with the prospective casting of Black Jack Randall. Various actors are mooted for the role despite it not even being available! Catherine escapes to bed before Yorkie reads her mind, and hopes she can’t see her dreams, while Eeyore struggles towards the magic number.... All WOOTs break loose when she finally wheels her chair over the precipice into her 1000’s, and ENGLAND breathes a sigh of relief. The Randall casting couch is occupied by actor after actor as ENGLAND discuss who would be best baddie, and finally Malfoy Snr appears to be the favourite.... Yorkie starts a thread on the Get-Togethers to see who would be interested in a private screening of POTO..... Elb is sidetracked by Moleskines, and sparks guilty stationery-love amongst fellow BritTarts, while the casting debate trundles on.... Em sees herself as Claire, of course, and Del dreams of strange kilted men, Gerry and Sweaty Sawyer....... Breila gets the wrong end of the stick and Em helpfully explains things while Jo posts a link to an entire Photobucketfull of casting suggestions for Outlander.... Del posts a link to a whole site of Moleskinerie, which bewilders much of ENGLAND, but which causes debate and leads to an embarrassment of compliments for Elb’s Abridged blog.... Yorkie finally makes it into the charts at No. 8, while Jo blames coming to ENGLAND for her appearance in the list, and admits to using Post-Its to highlight book-smut..... Yorkie arranges her pencils in obsessive colour order, Eeyore is nervous about speaking to Joe Public tomorrow, and Em plans on a lazy day after gym-duties. Jo is in her element at school, arranging her pens, and it strikes a chord with other Order-Obsessed Tarts... ENGLAND has group OCD! Yorkie is relieved that she’s not alone, and ENGLAND go to bed happy with their pens and pencils in neat order, leaving Snow to gloat over the fact that she has the most..... Daft throws in a final grenade, which provokes comment from Del and Jo then all is quiet.....