ENGLAND 87 degrees - Hot & steamy (and we don’t mean the heatwave....)

Catherine can’t sleep, so gets up at ungodly o’clock to catch up with last night’s hot topic....Elb isn’t far behind, as she has to finish squishing all of last night’s manic posting into something more manageable. Catherine, source of much news on the Gerry front (?!) tells of the RUG’s next auction of POTO goodies, which launches Elb into Grumpy Old Woo-man mode, as she can’t believe the amount some people spend on the props.....She is grumpy because instead of Gus-Goodness, she has dreamed of scrapbooks for Catherine, and only has half-caff for stimulation! Gusti makes it to BC, even after last night’s over-excitement, and Snow, sleepless in Michigan, agrees with Elb’s mini-rant over silly money for props, and despite not being able to see ‘Push Up’, has a quick Drool & Thunk thanks to Goffy’s stills.....Possibly due to only having half-caff, Elb talks in movie titles, and Jo is disappointed with Karl Urban in her dreams, Snow has a trashcan-puking brain and thinks Elb has the same affliction, while Gusti smugly announces she can go back to bed after BC. Snow drives her co-workers nuts with manic online bubblewrap popping, while Gusti battles with her conscience and bank account, trying to decide on a digital camera. Elb too is on the lookout for a new camera, while Catherine’s isn’t exactly compact.... Snow pictures Jo’s dream-boy in bubblewrap, and races Gusti back to Snoozeville....Del has hot dreams of Goran Visjnic, but must make tracks for Orkney, while Eeyore grumbles about lack of hunkiness in hers. She heads off to address her public for the second day....

Els blames her dreams about bandy-bum on her friend, and Sparkle missed out on Push Up fun last night, so pleads for piccies...... Em comes to her rescue with some research shots, but warns against having a mouthful when viewing.....Els has trouble self-moderating. Goffy can’t say what Butler & Bale got up to in her dreams, but Jo wouldn’t mind a peek, and the weather turns..... Goffy posts Butler & Balespam to help Jo’s headache, and Jo retaliates with previously promised Urbanspam....... Lots of it. She educates bewildered Goffy and the rest of ENGLAND as to who Karl Urban is, Goffy’s lappy throws a wobbly, and so when Elb gets in from work and catches up with the thread, she finds it deserted...... Euphemia and Goffy join her for some civilised debate, which gets pushed aside for the usual smutty banter....Jo tells Elb that Mr Nicole Kidman is NOT related to Karl Urban, and Euphemia is a self-confessed wimp, and pleads for last night’s screen-caps....Snow reckons Jo and Goffy, with their predilection for the Sheridan buzz-cut, would be in raptures over the men she works with, but she prefers longer locks, and goes all unneccessary at the thought...... Euphemia blows on her pussy, Goffy is overheating, and Jo’s plants suck...... Elb tells Goffy her Freudian slip is showing, and Jo nearly dies of a Ger-heart attack, while Sparkle’s comment is just too weird for Elb to twist.....Goffy attempts murder by picspam, and Jo goes to wash her mouth out with soap..... Euphemia admonishes Elb for her warped mind, and Cathy is home alone and hot....... Marsha, the not-so Quiet Admirer drops in, announces she’s here to merely observe, and proceeds to make the longest post of the day..... She has trouble with getting bananas in her mouth..... On a similar subject, Jo returns to the screen-caps that caused such consternation, and wonders if Lucy’s “Bob” is involved somehow, although her book is lacking in pink Post-Its in confirmation..... Snow gets hugs from work, tells Mr Gates what she thinks and declares that her fave fireman is “Huge”, while Goffy goes funny after thinking about Gus’s boxers, and Marsha gets the Blue Screen of Death....

Catherine isn’t feeling talkative, but says that while ‘Priest’ appears to be a done deal, TR isn’t, so Gerry may yet lose the part..... Cathy doesn’t see this as so bad, as bull-necked, tight-wad Laurent doesn’t sound like the Sir Sublime that ENGLAND know and love....Euphemia hopes that he hasn’t read the threads, but Jo thinks he should be more afraid of stationery-wielding lunatics than lust-crazed wimmin, and Breila hits the high notes at work.... Elb tells Snow not to run with anything huge, Snow advises caution in running AT anything huge, and Sparkle posts Ger-prettiness to cheer Catherine up. Els gets the giggles over marmalade, and Marsha asks if anyone’s heard of “Monarch of the Glen’.... Cathy and Elb both pimp Hamish as their favourite speeding kiltie, while Catherine the Not-Talkative is back to say how she feels Gerry SHOULD do TR. Marsha decides to read the book in order to form her own opinion..... She is over previous ailments, but has picked up some replacements, and is feeling a little fragile. MummyEls contemplates accompanying daughter to Scotland, but too much Tarting About frightens her, so she won’t go to the Con.... In answer to Marsha’s query, Elb explains all about Team ENGLAND and the concept therein, to which Gusti adds a heartfelt “Amen!”. Yorkie gets set for an evening in ENGLAND complete with refrigerated chocolate, and is surprised that MummyEls hasn’t been put off. Marsha thinks that she is excluded from Team ENGLAND, and posts pictures of those she loves, while Jo and Euphemia also have chilly choccy.... Yorkie turns to Breila for tourism advice in Copehagen, and cool but silly Goffy reassures all Honarary BritTarts that they ARE team members and will be at TartCon 2 in spirit, but holding the fort in ENGLAND in the meantime! It seems all of ENGLAND are stuffing chocolate except Elb, who has none in the house, but virtuously nibbles dried cranberries instead.....She confesses she is no longer a Moleskine virgin..... Snow misses Cadbury’s, and Gusti thanks Marsha for her raffle prize, while Els is tempted by chocolate digestives but prefers peachy cheeks instead, and Cathy goes for the fruit basket..... Goffy gets sticky fingers, and Snow suggests that Elb should start a Ministry of Silly Tarts.....Elb points out that Snow just did. Yorkie wonders if G should be known as PUG? (Push-Up Gerry, or Pop-Up Gerry according to Elb....) Gusti is also the proud owner of a Moleskine notebook, and intends to write her thoughts about Scotland in hers, when her mind gets back from its travels..... Euphemia isn’t feeling herself (or anyone else) and retires for the night, while Tina stops by for a rant about her broadband which is up the spout and has only just let her back on, after an hour on hold, a Double Decker and an Orange Solero.... Snow posts cyber-chocolate for Elb and anyone else in need, and she, Gusti and Elb get nerdy talking about Moleskines, for which Del is held accountable.... Yorkie squeezes a Cadbury’s Flake down the interweb for Elb to download, and the mystery of the contents of PUG’s boxers is solved. Same shape and orientation, according to Elb.... Eeyore gets satisfaction - from her new job, and asks to join the Silly Tarts, Yorkie posts a Yorkie.... or two, while Snow ponders the short and messy lifespan of a Flake in hot boxers.....Els interrupts in Footie Hooligan mode, and Eeyore celebrates Mr Va-Va-Voom making it to the Cup Final. Elb welcomes her to the Ministry of Silly Tarts, as her new job makes her perfectly qualified, and Jo is caught up in a dated Flake ad. She ALMOST mentions the C-word again...... Gusti rents the DVD of GOTL despite it not being out yet, and Cathy sings Sound of Music as ENGLAND talk about her favourite things - chocolate and Big G.......Elb posts a doodle from her new notebook for the prospective ENGLAND logo, and asks for a verdict.... It goes down well, and she is chuffed. Snow asks if anyone else irons tea towels, sparking huge debate: To iron, or NOT to iron, that is the question. ENGLAND is divided. Basically into those that do, and those that don’t.....

Eeyore buys herself 12 inches of Marek, and Gusti posts a link to the UK Planning Thread, where Cathy asks for numbers wanting to go on a Gerry-tour in Scotland. Gusti has only just returned from Scotland, and is already planning her next trip! Elb tells the Ironers that Life Is Too Short, and asks for other logo ideas before calling it a night..... Gusti wishes ENGLAND sweet Push-Up dreams, hot and sticky Cathy is open to suggestions for sleep-aids, and Yorkie returns after a marathon phone call, admitting she irons everything, despite hating it with a passion. Jo figures that’s how one gets a Flat Gerry, and Em comes in full of Tennant, as much of ENGLAND bows out..... Esteemed vidder Low Flying Kiwi drops in to visit after seeing ENGLAND’s posts about her ‘Push-Up’ vid, and apologises for any health issues her work may have caused, Goffy and Jo thank her profusely on the team’s behalf, and Goffy can’t help asking what IT was.... Em explains all-night Tennant as a new digital channel with non-stop Who-ness, and everyone has one final Push-Up before bed...............