ENGLAND 92: Just Keep Blowing! (only another 7 red balloons to go....)

Euphemia gets ENGLAND out of bed and into action with a breezy good morning. Elb, arriving at Breakfast Club some 30 minutes later, is deeply suspicious of anyone who is that chipper so early.... Catherine completes the trio, but whizzes off to catch up while Elb gets domesticated in preparation for the impending arrival of the Lovely Plumbing Duncan. Catherine prepares for another show with Tam and Parker, but dreads hanging around on a scorchio day.... Euphemia too gets down and dirty with her chores, and Elb realises she’s under-dressed for visiting tradesmen... Jo’s over-excited about incoming Wulfiness, Catherine rambles about dogs camping it up, and gets outbid on eBay. Els is exhausted after a night with her new pirate-lust, and Gusti WOOTs for Em even before coffee.

Breila watches dejectedly as the lining of Phanty’s cloak slips beyond her bank balance, and Blu and Yorkie pass like ships in the lunchtime...... Em begins to regret being a Laydee of Leisure when her bum hurts, and Del and Goffy meet up for afternoon tea.... Jo tracks Wulfy’s wanderings, and worries about quarantining ponies and declaring Viking contraband, while Em falls asleep in the sun and wakes up looking like Neapolitan ice cream... Del advises cold teabags on her sore arm, while Elb suggests dyeing the other arm with cold tea instead.... Els is a happy Sparrow as she finds 18 inches of Johnny lying in wait for her after work, and plans to take him touring naval dockyards for illicit piccies..... Envious Miss Hyde wants more than 18 inches, but can’t raise the dubloons, and Sparkle plays with her latest mini-toy. (size isn’t everything....) Elb is easily pleased, and admires the pristine porcelain affixed by just plumb-lovely Duncan, before realising how sad that is, and posts an even sadder photo of her favourite tiny gadgets with accompanying Post-Its, not realising it will lead to Desk Wars..... Del issues a Messy Desk challenge, and Elb takes up the gauntlet... Sparkle feels inadequate after Breila boasts of 6 gigabytes of iPodness, but can only handle one GB at a time.... If only........... Eeyore enters the ENGLAND asylum to announce that she has moved her drawers next to Gareth’s, and makes Sparkle drool over a standalone stationery Smiths in Bangor........

There is no hope for ENGLAND at this point.

Meanwhile, Elb fires the first salvo in Messy Desk Wars, and is somewhat concerned over Eeyore’s whirlwind romance with Gareth’s drawers. Breila sharpens pencils for a bouquet, and Em doesn’t know what she’s letting herself in for.... Breila is about to hit 500 and asks for a question to push her over the edge.... Elb, having already gone over the edge, feels she is fully qualified to help... Em dashes off to takes pics of her favourite things, while disgruntled Catherine posts a pic of one of hers - Parker in show pose with unsmiling owner....... Del posts the Leaning Tower of Moleskine, Jo is also concerned over Gareth’s drawers, and loses Maltesers and marbles under her entry in the Messiest Desk comp... Em is still trying to figure out what her favourite things are, while Cathy finishes unsavoury Laurent off and comes out to play.... Technologically-challenged Euphemia hasn’t mastered ring binders, never mind iPods, while Magdalena, home for the holidays sends hugs to all. Euph describes her favourite things as her crafty bits and bobs..... Cathy gets the hots for nekkid G in yellow-towelled violence, but is left cold by fully-clad Beanie doing similar, and Elb reassures her that she is simply impressed by the towel’s ability to stay up under duress..... Breila hands out bouquets of freshly-sharpened pencils, teaches Elb a thing or two about the Road to Amarillo, and slides smartly into her 500th post, eliciting WOOTs all round.... Del wonders if she can reach 4000 by the end of the weekend. Photobucket turns out NOT to be one of Sparkle’s favourite things, and she goes off in a huff to watch BB where a bunch of weirdos talk about nothing in particular and do strange things for no reason until someone is leaves....... It sounds worryingly familiar.... Cathy shows her messy drawers and favourite things, confirming that she is a True ENGLANDer by her secret stash of stationery, Euphemia thinks Amarillo is in Texas, but knows it’s a long way to Tipperary, while Elb feels a song coming on... Tina, Breila and Eeyore take Geography lessons, and Marsha streaks through, singing songs from ‘Mary Poppins’..... Euphemia corrects Elb’s erroneous assumption that Amarillo is a liqueur by informing her she’s thinking of the burrowing mammal covered in horny plates.... Del lectures in graphic Geographics, and ENGLAND do a world tour of strange place names..... Euphemia packs her bags for Intercourse, Del can’t remember the longest Welsh name for a town, but Eeyore can say it! Tina cracks up, while Breila confesses encyclopaedaic love, and Catherine can say the Llanfair...............thingy word despite the hideous handicap of being English...... Cathy enlightens ENGLAND as to the longest real word in the English language - floccinaucinihilipilification - which means ‘the act of estimating (something) as worthless’. Elb secretly indulges in floccinaucinihilipilification of the current ENGLAND thread.... but Euphemia tells her it’s not worth the bother, Goffy arrives bearing WOOTs for Breila, and Els appears with 18 inches of Jack via webcam! Cathy imparts more useless but entertaining information about place names, Breila imparts useless but very entertaining information about laws in certain states, and Del lusts after Els’Cap’n Jack..... Euphemia and Elb perpetuate the painful puns from Amarillo to Armani and Eeyore is too confoosed to sort out who’s who in ‘Timeline’ the book v ‘Timeline’ the movie, so drools instead... Elb catches up again after a long phone call from an inconsiderate sprog, then feels guilty for being a bad mutha, but Del and Eeyore reassure her that she’s a great cyberMum at least.... Catherine heads off to bed to glow in the dark, and ranting Del threatens to vomit over the TV. Euphemia thinks Don’s Johnson wears Armani, and passes Del a bucket, while Yorkie thinks she’s stumbled into ‘Countdown’ and decides to catch up before commenting further.... Del can’t decide whether to rant, vomit or drool, so the bucket proves useful in any case, and Gusti finally arrives after a Keanu night. She is disappointed not to be able to show off her favourite things, and is envious of Els, as Gusti ain’t got Jack..... She and Del both want to indulge in Vice of the new Miami kind with Colin Farrell, then cheat further on Gerry with Messrs Depp and Reeves...... Gusti cowers behind the sofa in fear of a virtual barrage of missiles from the others...

Jo gets an Armada-inspired hernia from trying to catch up with the thread and reckons ENGLAND are on top form tonight, while Goffy and the insatiable Cathy agree that G hits a certain spot.... Yorkie is shocked - nay, appalled at the state of ENGLAND’s drawers, and reckons she can teach ENGLAND a choice word or two, but Euphemia assures Yorkie she can do piles, and has been informed by her doctor that she has a cute case of them.... Goffy becomes the ENGLAND Movie Database for Gusti, Jo has trouble breathing after Euphemia’s postings, and admits to having piles. On her desk. She promises to desk-spam ENGLAND tomorrow...... Cathy points out that Baby Bale is on TV tomorrow, Yorkie gets medical, and Del gets everything out for all to see! Jo finds the missing Maltesers but not her marbles, and enlightens ENGLAND as to who “Daisy” is that Eeyore listed amongst her faves.....Eeyore promptly adds more to her stable, and Yorkie’s idea of heaven on a desk is less Moleskine, and more Gerry-skin... Del volunteers her services as a Terry-topped desk-mat, and the random picspam hots up with Bales, Maliks and Fords but is beaten into a cocked hat by double helpings of fluffy-shirted Phantyness..... Em’s got Balls, and adds her shopping list of Studliness while Breila bows out, hoping for heaven in her dreams.... Del brings out the big guns, while Gusti has FINALLY joined the Glitterati! Yorkie keeps her desk tidy just in case, Cathy admires Pierce’s stunt-bum as a paperweight, and Elb gets left behind in Blogland....... Goffy posts in-out Attila-spam, and Del ‘s marbles get totally Lost, along with the plot.... Elb calls out an End of Thread alert from way off in the distance, and Goffy’s picspam makes Yorkie asthmatic, Gusti an insomniac, and Em’s brain explodes...... Goffy adds to the Hokey-Cokey by getting Attila to shake it all about, and that finishes ENGLAND off for the night.......

Elb, out of the loop, gives up and joins ENGLAND in bed.............