ENGLAND 100 plus 1.........

........ - BritTarts head past the realms of the Gutler into Room 101.....

Gusti is in Breakfast Club at crack of unGodly o’clock, and pinches Elb’s waiting coffee. Catherine joins her later, as she is off to a show today, and issues a weather bulletin, while Elb dances in, delighted that Breakfast Club is back to relative normality...... Lazy Gusti can’t be bothered to dance, and Catherine Gergasms with Elb - the first since Glasgee! Slightly hungover Elb complains of leg cramps in the night, and Tina awaits the next weather report, as she’s off to a wedding, while Miss Hyde is not a happy bunny, as she gets another rejection letter and complains about the long-awaited rain because she’s going to a party with a bouncy castle! Eeyore offers her job advice, and Els makes her bed...... literally!

Eeyore goes shopping for her new MP3 player, which she proudly shows off later, and Miss Hyde the Who-lover cheers herself up with a new CD. Goffy celebrates rain in the Wirral, and Barbara speculates on an encounter with Wet Gerry, but has picture problems. She and Goffy discuss their favourite Gerry look, and decide that scruffy is best..... Euphemia arrives, apologetic that she missed Breakfast Club this morning, but she too had connectivity issues.... Jo is with the ‘scruffy is sexy’ bunch, despite marrying a guy in uniform, and stinky Em flomps with lappy and biccies....... Euphemia, having seen the pics Elb posted last night of her catinabox, reckons hers is just as mad, bad and dangerous to know, when tripping out on Catnip...... Everyone shows and tells with their favourite GB pics, Miss Hyde DOESN’T quote a line from Blackadder, and Em reveals her nickname is Baldrick!

Catherine and Parker return semi-triumphant from the dog show, and hurry to catch up with ENGLAND, while Eeyore WOOTs for Parker, and awards the show judge with a white stick, as she thinks he’s beautiful! Euphemia admits to getting twitchy if she doesn’t get a GB.net fix twice a day, and Goffy has a worse habit....... Elb sore-foots it home, and plans to emigrate to the Arctic as a customer tells her England will go into meltdown next week. ENGLAND promptly goes into meltdown, and the Team book places in Elb’s Slutty luggage. Gusti posts a triple whammy of her favourite GB pics, while Elb fancies an Arctic roll with a fur rug and a Butler...... Gusti is feeling better, having rationed her computering, and Eeyore enthuses over her new toy, complete with remote, but Elb can’t see the purpose of a remote when you’re plugged into the thing! Weathergirl Catherine warns that Devon’s downpour is heading elsewhere, and Els shocks her brother with her band’s social intercourse........ Elb thinks about buying her a present, but it’s the thought that counts, so she saves her pennies instead. Gusti is envious of ENGLAND’s toys, and Elb wonders where she’s been peeking, but Gusti’s own ‘tool collection is getting bigger and bigger’.......Goffy the Ant-Killer wants to buy from the CafePress shop, and loves the ‘Got Gerry-juice T-SHITS’......... Elb cracks up....... Jo’s not mellow about yellow, and Goffy the Repentant Ant-Squisher posts a volley of Depp-Spam.... Els uploads the Depperman interview, and Gusti loses all her JD pics and ‘moderates’ Elb, who feigns innocence...... Jo finds her first post in ENGLAND, and way back then, Els suggests a West Country Tart get-together...... Gusti reckons one thing is better than Gerry and ice-cream - Gerry and chocolate mousse! Em says nothing........... The air of innocence doesn’t suit Elb, so she owns up to being guilty of impure thoughts and sends herself off to Art Class over in the KT, where she is joined by equally-impure fellow Glasgeean, Catherine. Goffy supplies Gusti with some compensatory DeppSpam, ENGLAND download Els’ Letterman interview with JD, and she magnanimously finds enough love for both Johnny AND Gerry........ Kiddy-face-painter Em decides she doesn’t LIKE children, while Gusti decides Johnny is the better actor, while Gerry is the better man.... Not so for Goffy and Em - GB is the bees knees on every count!

Eeyore wants a singalong, Em wants to paint Gerry as a giraffe, and Gusti can’t figure out the workings of Elb’s sick and twisted mind.... Goffy sees Gerry as a panda, but Em thinks he’d be a great lion, and Els is pleased that MummyEls likes Johnny too...... Aching Catherine retires early, Eeyore explains remotes to Elb, and Sparkle tells Elb that Sandi Toksvig is a Moleskine-addict too...... Gusti pimps Orly Bloom, but only because he talks about JD, and Elb announces she has asked Regin NOT to delete the first ENGLAND thread, for sentimental reasons. She WOOTs for rain, and is happy in her world, while Eeyore - not a Colin Farrell fan - watches spooky bears..... Gusti gets confoosed with Eeyore’s flying mug terminology, but Goffy explains it, and Gusti reveals that DEPP in German means DORK! Els posts more Dork-a-like clips, and Goffy and Eeyore agree that the world would be verra boring if we all liked the same things. Elb has too much time on her hands, and not much on her brain, and figures that we all like Gerry, so........ ? She reminds ENGLAND ‘Who’ used to dominate Saturday night picspam, and Eeyore tells ENGLAND that Doctor Who will return at that Unmentionable Seasonal Time.... Elb is delighted to have something to actually look forward to at that time of year......

Sad Els returns with the news that one of her favourite authors has died - ENGLAND offer their condolences. All goes quiet and Elb does roll call..... Goffy, Jo and Eeyore are all that are left of Team ENGLAND online....... then Lady Claire has trouble catching up again, and Elb thinks back to this time last week when Clan Paranoia joined ENGLAND from the Novotel in Glasgee. One by one, the remaining members of Team ENGLAND drift off to bed, leaving late-night Eeyore playing with her new toy before she too hits the hay. She sets the table for Breakfast Club and leaves Wulfy on guard over ENGLAND................