ENGLAND’s century rolls on..........

Gusti is up, showered and ready to rock and roll at 4.16am (5.16 her time) and unsurprisingly finds the rest of ENGLAND asleep.... Moderator Regin shows up to make the sombre announcement that ENGLAND threads 1 to 95 will be deleted as requested on Sunday evening. If anyone wants anything from those threads, NOW is the time to get hoovering! Elb shuffles in after the others are gone, and whinges about being alone in BC, as did Gusti. As soon as the weather breaks, she plans to resume attendance at BC ASAP........ Abridged is back up and running, and an hour later, Catherine too moans about the loneliness of ENGLAND first thing in the morning.....

Much later, Jo and Catherine swap laundry stories and discuss the weather, just like Real English People, and Del drops in for a moan about lack of internet at her temporary digs....... Els is once again poorly sick, but on the mend, which accounts for her being chained to the computer once more, and home again Elb yawns her way through the verra short posts since she went to work. Even as she types the word ‘Yawn’, it makes her do just that! Catherine complains of feeling naff, and decides to go Glasgee-spotting on Taggart, while Goffy arrives in a palaver about ants, and Lady Claire fumes about the lack of Gerriness in the “300” article in today’s Empire magazine. Elb reckons Team ENGLAND can get Gerry’s name up in lights if everyone brings their own lightbulb to the premiere.....Els goes into graphic detail with her ickiness, and quotes her favourite line fromPOTC2: "Let's all just get our swords out and start banging away at each other!"....... Goffy likes Shish-Kebabbed Johhny, Els suggests ENGLAND pimp Gerry to Empire, and Gusti the Pirate-no-Longer finds her first post back in February! Els is in the mood for scruff, and Sparkle does a fly-by as she’s on airport-duty, while Em stinks.......... Elb tells Em how to find her first post, and whines about hers and Gusti’s early starts which mean they don’t meet up at Breakfast Club anymore.... Em’s first ENGLAND encounter was with Yorkie, who explained that here in ENGLAND, “we have in-depth, intelligent conversations about world situations, and how best we could help humankind....... NOT!!!!”

Goffy is busy sorting through Gerry’s bits in her lap, and..... ooops - lapTOP, and Miss Hyde spends the afternoon wombling about in the garage.... Em plays “Taxi for Dad!”, and Catherine gets sweaty in the Pooch Parlour, while Gusti gets the HeebieGB’s over ants......She asks her rescuer Gerry to park his white horse outside, as there’s no room indoors! Elb issues a Messy Desk Alert, where Mini-Marek is posing with Moleskines, and evicts her cat from Marek’s box! 4youreyesonly - Barbara, wants to run nekkid in the rain, evoking jeaousy from ENGLAND....for the rain - not running around nekkid in it! Goffy admires Marek’s large pencil - and the wet Gerry pics on which he is recumbent - and Gusti wants a rain dance, while Jo just wants her Marek to act as her office lackey..... She and Goffy talk anticide while Gusti teases with lip-biting pics for Goffy.... Jo has promising news of a B&G screening possibly in September, and tired Gusti talks nonsense, but ENGLAND understands, while Elb goes Elbmit after folk call Noodles cute...... Gusti posts more Gerryspam, and Goffy flips, Catherine thinks G’s sweet, and clumsy Em gets assaulted by giant acorns! Gusti teases with more Gerriness, Els provokes Elb by saying Noodles is a sweetheart and Cathy gets paranoid and sweaty..... Gusti gets wind, Em wants Gerry to blow on her, and Goffy becomes the Exterminator, waging war against invading ants. There is a brief pause while Goffy goes for dinner, and Elb gets a chance to eat her own............ Nimhue drops in again, and promises to chat as ENGLAND seem “a chatty bunch”, and is welcomed by all, and especially by Els who welcomes her in Polish! Elb is impressed, but as Nimhue drops in, Jo drops out, and Els likes a man on his knees.... Elb goes Strictly Ballroom, and Nimhue leaves quickly, while Cathy looks back at her first post and complains that no-one welcomed her, so Elb does a belated welcome. Els admits to being a soppy git, and Gusti doesn’t want Elb’s travelogue to end....... Goffy starts to sing, and Catherine suggests a song for any budding vidders, as she can’t vid..... Gusti is mesmerised by JD, much to the amusement of her colleagues on the train, and Elb tells how she and Catherine both took Dragonfly to Glasgow, and is delighted by Gusti’s compliments on her Travelogue..... Cathy is also pleased at her very belated welcome to the thread, issued by Elb, who wasn’t even around at the time! Euphemia and Yorkie both show up and Yorkie’s boss thinks she’s in midlife crisis after finding Gerry on her phone! Jo loves hers, despite it asking her if she wants coffee, and Catherine’s bosses are used to her phone’s foibles........ Cathy’s sings “Loch Lomond” or MOTN, and Eeyore needs advice on a new MP3 player..... The Exterminator returns, and Catherine thanks ENGLAND for inspiring her to lose weight..........

Marsha shows up in the midst of a chat about mid-life crises, and reckons she’s having one at age 25....... She also announces that she and Mom have booked their tickets to England, arriving in November.... Euphemia denies she’s a ‘loose woo-man’ and needs immoral fibre to loosen her up, while Eeyore invites Marsha to Wales, and Cathy remarks that although ENGLAND is ageless, we all have ‘senior moments’.......Jo’s family are all Butler-obsessed, and Marsha needs reasons to visit Glasgow. Elb plans to give Marsha good reason to visit., but needs sleep, so postpones sending her photos till later. She sends best wishes from connectionless Del, and heads off to bed........ Gusti too departs, and naturally mature Els has muchly strange Ger-dreams. Eeyore is still hunting for MP3 players, and Em is excited to hear Gerry’s name on British TV in Billy Connolly’s programme...Goffy’s ears prick up, and she reveals that like Jo’s hubby, hers is becoming a closet Tartan by pimping B&G at work...... Always-behind-Barbara tells how her first encounter in ENGLAND was with Goffy, and has been browsing old threads before they go, and Goffy and Em hit the Gutler again..........

FINALLY........... Em gets to set up a new thread! ENGLAND 100 plus 1 - BritTarts head past the realms of the Gutler into Room 101.....

Tina is first in, despite needing her beauty sleep (in HER opinion!), and Em and Goffy take things straight down into the Gutler - always the best route..... Tina and Em indulge in tootsie-talk , and Barbara introduces herself to Tina, awed to meet the ‘Founder’ of the ENGLAND madness. Tina describes how ENGLAND began as a prim and proper tea-party, but after numbers swelled, all sense of decorum went out the virtual window, and ENGLAND in the Gutler was born........ She departs for bed leaving a warm fuzzy feeling behind...... Barbara is instructed in ENGLAND’s close-down routine by Jo, who is glad to delegate pug-walking duties, and ENGLAND’s shift is finally over.........