ENGLAND 100 plus 1, plus a bit more.........

Catherine gets the coffee on for Team ENGLAND as she can’t sleep. Surprisingly, Elb appears, despite it being her one and only day off work, but she has missed Breakfast Club so much that she grabs some while she can..... As befits a pair of such ageing relics, she and G1 discuss their ailments and the weather until Gusti appears, then all three discuss ailments and weather............ Elb tells Gusti that Operation Vienna is under way, and Euphemia finally manages to get back into the site after being booted out yesterday.......... Elb the Sweaty decides to do Breakfast...Abridged for her benefit. Euphemia does Advice for the Ailing...Abridged in return, and Elb figures that Euphemia’s pithy “Elb, Bananas” can be taken either way...... Gusti too heeds Doc Horrible’s suggestion of a cooling eye mask, but Catherine has taken her dodgy tum for walkies before seeing Euphemia’s recommendation of Liver Salts..... Elb posts a pic of Marek’s full twelve inches in answer to Euphemia’s discreet inquiries, and goes off to play with her (coincidentally) 12 inches of lappiness.......Els boasts that 36 inches of combined Aragorn and Sparrow beat Marek’s paltry 12 inches, hands down, and issues a challenge to Elb to come to Pompey and face her fear of heights in a 170 metre high tower......

Sparkle arrives for elevenses with Breila who has been AWOL after her Dad is poorly. Breila considers laser eye surgery, but ENGLAND cringes at the thought - Euphemia can’t even use eye drops..... Eeyore cooks the books after neglecting them for too long, while Euphemia is the epitome of a long-standing customer at her bank, and takes a picnic.... Jo goes to wake the Kraken, alias sleeping hubby, but lets him lie while she catches up with Abridged, and Breila replies to Eeyore’s query that yes, Denmark IS the happiest place to live, according to cheerful Danes, but she plans on coming to grumpy England once school’s out......

Miserable Blu is looking for new lodgings after just two days in her new abode, and Miss Hyde reports back from the 18th birthday party where she bounced in the rain and dived into chocolate fountains..... Elb returns from indulging in new lappiness, and accepts Els’ challenge, by becoming superhero Action-Elb...... Unlucky Loubylou has to call on the RAC superheroes and endures a coachride from Hell to see Evita, and Eeyore gives her the link for Mini-Mareks...... Greedy Jo wants another one, and reveals where to get Marek-sized handcuffs to a very interested Louby and lurking Elb, while Catherine reckons ENGLAND have set a trend, as Admin are asking for volunteers for thread deletions!

Els is all growed-up and buys domestic accoutrements, but quickly balances it out with JD DVDs, after failing to check out the Spinnaker Tower where she wants to lure Elb....... Jo refuses to waste a good pair of handcuffs on hubby, and Gusti catches up after a hard day’s work. At 6.17pm, Elb notices that ENGLAND’s old threads have been deleted, and announces there will be a Memorial Service at 7pm..... Eeyore wants slapping for not holding herself to account, while Gusti passes a sobbing Elb a handkerchief, while Eeyore, Jo and Miss Hyde hold a minute’s silence for the departed threads..... The pruning back of the threads however, has enabled self-confessed idler Miss Hyde to find more of Elb’s ramblings from Belfast, and Catherine ponders more forum housework to make the site run better.....

Just after 7pm, Elb intones the Memorial Service for Lost Threads, revealing that Tina’s very first thread which started the Team ENGLAND ball rolling has been saved from the chop for sentimental reasons, and celebrating the threads which have made the team what they are... BritTarts to be reckoned with! ENGLAND well up - Miss Hyde decides to gush later, Catherine starts singing, and Euphemia - who is having a sh***y day, gets tears in her eyes..... Gusti drinks to past threads, and proves ENGLAND’s philosophy by offering Euphemia a shoulder to cry on...... The team all rally round. Miss Hyde reckons ENGLAND can reach 200 by the C-word, and Yorkie multi-tarts by mourning lost threads and carrying on with the minutiae of the daily grind....... as long as no-one disturbs her whilst drooling over new pics. Euphemia, cheered by the dross churned out by ENGLAND, asks who has done a ‘Kiss for Gerry’ to go in the book which Beth on the KT is organising. It is to be handed to Gerry’s representative at the Colorado Convention. Catherine exhausts herself just listing the tasks she is currently multi-tarting at.... (yes - I know the grammar’s bad!) and Sparkle is glad that she’ll be able to look back at Tina’s very first thread which got the whole ENGLAND thing going. Breila wonders how long the mourning period for departed threads will be, and Yorkie finds hubby handy for pond-clearing duty. Elb forgets ‘A Kiss for Gerry’ and immodestly pimps her own work, while Goffy buys a new lappy to console herself after the threads are deleted. Eeyore snorts, Euphemia offers Elb flowers, and Jo wonders if she can cheat........ Goffy is clueless, Gusti tells her brain no can do, and Sparkle’s already done her bit for Gerry, while Catherine casts nasturtiums on Elbs’ good name...... Yorkie hasn’t a clue either, but is pointed in the right direction by Euphemia, while Eeyore takes the pimp and reads ‘Elbmow’s Oddysey’ as per hintage......... Jo has a new siggy, and abseils further into the Gutler, Goffy threatens more vids courtesy of her new lappy, and Elb resents Catherine’s suggestion that she may have been entertaining strange men in her bedroom........ She merely had two in the rear! Miss Hyde wishes she’d known ENGLAND at TartCon1, and Catherine admits to being too shy to kiss paper. (Heck woo-man! It’s not like it was a frog!?.............) Els is incapable of coherent thought, thanks to JD, and Elb OD’s on bananas, while Miss Hyde is one step ahead of Elb’s warped brain..... Goffy wonders at Catherine’s shyness, and Gusti gets homesick for Scotland. At post 299, Elb issues an ‘End of Thread alert’ but nobody notices, so she goes ahead and sets up the next thread anyway.............Catherine can’t divulge her feelings, even on paper, but Elb can divulge the link for ENGLAND to coast smoothly through to 102......

New thread 102 rubs along nicely for its’ age, and Euphemia likens it to walking on fresh snow...... Goffy is busy reloading her new lappy, and Miss Hyde reaches the end of Elb’s Oddysey - and her tether - and retires to find anything wet........ Euphemia heads off to chill out in a relaxing bath, and Catherine goes to indulge in more criminal activities courtesy of ‘Silent Witness’. Telly-frustrated Elb wonders if it was something she said, as by 9pm, most of ENGLAND have gone! However, Yorkie appears after getting steamed up with pressing matters, Eeyore returns having held herself to account, and Elb confesses in hushed tones to having just bought some new clothes for Mini-Marek......... Wet Els pops in after a weepie, and recommends the soundtracks from both POTC movies to Eeyore, who is in buying mood.... Miss Hyde too thinks the music is awesome, as was seeing the Who on tonight’s Top Gear! She takes her poor sore arms off to bed.......Els is off to test-drive her new sheets, while absent-marbled Elb can’t remember if she celebrated her 5000th post....... In any case, she is chuffed to find she is now 7th highest overall poster, and gives a self-congratulatory WOOT or two....She tries to leave for Abridging, but is enticed back by Eeyore’s sparkly things!

Little Miss (Jackie) acknowledges Team ENGLAND’s selfless sacrifice of their archives for the good of the board, and Snow joins her in mourning. Jo gets her Coke and Kelloggs confoosed, and Eeyore drops the pug and runs......... Snow passes the buck (and pug) to Jo, as it doesn’t look good with her uniform, and ENGLAND settle down for the night.........