ENGLAND 106 - To Infidelity and Beyond!

Is it a Phantom? Is it a Marek? BritTarts decide......

Regin pops in pre-Gusti to thank the ENGLAND Tourist Board for their advice regarding her imminent trip to the UK, and promises to pop in once her hangover/jetlag clears........ Gusti has a post and a half to do, to WOOT for Elb’s menopause, admire Marek’s posing, laugh at Marsha’s lyrics and hope that Eeyore’s doc will give her good news...... All before coffee. Post-Gusti Elb wishes Regin happy holidays and asks that her salutations be passed on to the concrete cows in MK...... Catherine is the bearer of Too Much Information as she reports having to clean up after a visitation by the Puke Fairy (canine division), but redeems herself by being a top-notch blood donor. Elb whinges about her puffy ankles, but dodgy-backed Catherine assures Gerry that ENGLAND are a fit, lithe bunch of athletic wimmin who just need a coffee kick-start of a morning..........Els wanders past en route to work, and so starts another ho-hum day in ENGLAND.

Miss Hyde and Jo both flit through, Els ponders doing anything but admin, and Em and Del do lunch...... Del steps up the exercise and posts pandas, while Miss Hyde threatens personal pics and Em’s control room crashes.....Miss Hyde gets high on wine gums, Catherine gets horizontal with Gerry, and Em gets the sniggers. Eva drops in after lunch and Sparkle pushes her friend to the edge....... of Gerrydom. Goffy WOOTs for Elb and her midlife crisis, and offers sympathetic picspam for all those under the weather, including herself. Em presents her with some Wulfyspam, and Goffy buffs up his helmet, collecting a red card in the process........

Loubylou finally claws back the computer from her kids and reassures Eeyore that taking daily meds is not a problem, as she suffers from underactive thyroid. She joins Elb in celebrating the end of fannying about with reproduction, and gets tearful whilst bonding with Team ENGLAND....Marsha issues greetings while procrastinating her workout, and OzTart Sophie makes a welcome reappearance to announce she may well be exchanged by her Uni next year for some poor Brit........ Hertfordshire battens down the hatches in anticipation....... Marsha sends Goffy a cheer-up, and Goffy threatens to go private if she can’t get no satisfaction on the NHS....... Catherine remembers she was supposed to visit the doctor - months ago! Louby is limited online, and gets lost outside ENGLAND, and Goffy posts the transcripts that she and Catherine have been doing for Admin.

Elb stops by to say hi, en route to Blogger, where she left the end of Abridged, and Marsha climbs on her soapbox when it comes to healthcare in the US..... Lady Claire dreams of Gerr-snogginess, then gets amnesia, while Jo reports back from shopping with a newly perforated daughter and goes for a cuppa with Ivan...... Euphemia is in verra silly mode tonight, but can’t promise to restrain herself, while Yorkie advises her to let it all hang out. Els gets melancholy after acquiring some heirlooms from her Grandparents, and Miss Hyde departs for Club Campanology again......ENGLAND get wistful while discussing inheritances, and Catherine’s family pass on ever-heavier wedding rings. Yorkie jumps into the thread early, to spend quality time with ENGLAND, and the Glasgee Three are reunited online, with Elb the Pseudo-Incontinent getting far too excited....... Prompted by Goffy’s comment of feeling like poo, the thread descends rapidly beyond the Gutler into the sewers, and toilet humour abounds..... In the midst of poo gags, Em has a crisis whereby her sis breaks her disc of fanvids, and Em is utterly vidless....... ENGLAND rally to her rescue, and order (and fanvids) are restored......

Gusti does a Hi/Bye as she needs mucho sleeping after mucho working, and Ever-Behind Barbara misses her by moments, Cathy recounts her DIY day but is in need of Doc Butler after burning her arm while stripping. Euphemia posts a classic Ode to the Gutler, to resounding applause, and is persuaded to post it on the Limerick thread. Catherine passes the baton to G2 and G3 as she’s off to bed, and Eeyore scurries back to the friendliness of ENGLAND after a nasty encounter on the IMDB Butler boards..... Elb (G2) wonders about slapping cheese into the baton, and passes on the poo gags in favour of Sweaty Sawyerness about to start on telly....... Euphemia passes on her philosophy to ENGLAND: Laugh, and the world laughs with you...Cry, and some heartless bugger slaps you round the face....

Sparkle proves the point that “the family that plays together, stays together”, and indoctrinates her friend into the ways of Gerriness, with slow but steady methods.... Still with the poo gags, Jo catches up fast from the rear, but has Shoppers’ Head, so lurks instead, while Eeyore and Sparkle discuss the vitriolic boards over at IMDB. Elb issues a very tardy End of Thread Alert, but already has a new thread lined up ready for action, and Always-Behind Barbara is flushed into ENGLAND 107 - Mayhem Ensues! BritTarts mull over Mini-Mareks, mirth and motions....

Straight down the pan is Sparkle, passing through on her way to bed, then Em and Euphemia who finds it all a bit of a strain........ Eeyore feels like crap, but goes to the Doc tomorrow to find out why, and Beth who is running the Memory Book thread pops in to remind folk to get their collective fingers out and concentrate on sending her their samples - sorry - examples........ Yorkie forwards a motion for ENGLAND to get Lost, as it’s time, and Jo is pooped, while Constantly-Behind Barbara thanks Beth for her timely interruption. Custard-Tart-Hurling Champ Euphemia tries in vain to entice Eeyore into toilet humour - the water’s fine, nice and blue with a hint of pine....but she clamps shut and refuses to offload. Goffy WOOTs for new threadness, but is confoosed, and ducks out of a custard tart fight while Yorkie, unaware of the Patisserie War, makes jelly and blancmange........

Finally, with the thread covered in crumbs and custard, Eeyore clears up the mess and beds ENGLAND down for the night......