ENGLAND moves for the 103rd time.....and we're still smelling of roses!

Gusti gets earlier and earlier as the week progresses, and by the time Catherine and Elb arrive, Gusti is long gone.... Elb is spectacularly hungover despite only a small drinky-poo last night with dinner - a side effect of her medication. Parker is playing silly B’s, Elb sings the Banana Splits’ song, and Euphemia adds her good wishes to Gusti’s for BabyElb’s knee op today.... Euphemia tries to take out a contract on her two little angels, but Catherine isn’t for hire as she is threatening canicide if she can’t ensnare Parker to take him to the show... Elb has trouble posting Abridged, and heads off to the hozzy with BabyElb, while Catherine packs up Parker and potters off to the show.

Pot-calling-the-kettle-black Em is astounded at the BC’s chatter, then goes on to have a go herself, commenting that “it is still deader than Attila's honeymoon” and gets a visitation from Elvis who is working as a site attendant....... Els, Evangelia and Em are all bored at work, and Em does a Dolly Parton impression, wondering why folk are staring at her.... Everyone falls into Els’ Photobucket, and Em rescues Nigel Harman who she will be seeing in Guys and Dolls. Jo checks it out later, and complains that her hoover sucks........ but nothing else, and Em and Evangelia talk guys rather than dolls.... Em makes her own Phantom Blu-Tack, and auditions hunks for a role in her own version of G&D......... Goffy Bales in for the role of Nathan, but Em prefers dishy Depp and snoggable Sewell, while Goffy is hot to trot, and E promises to take her fangs out before snogging Gerry in Sally Army uniform...... Jo thinks she’s got teabags in her siggy, while Goffy is undecided how to develop her latest vid, and Jo sends hubby on a mission for spare parts. The mission is a double success, as he returns with ice cream too....Em however holds a minute’s silence for the Defunct Dyson, and she and Goffy discuss their boomeranging affection for The Butler. The Pervy Pair revisit old pictures in the gallery and reminisce over GB....... Em marvels that she is being paid to talk nonsense all day...... (No comment.)

Els comes home with a headache which she treats with much Pride and not a little Prejudice, and Elb is back from hospital with BabyElb who has had exploratory surgery on her knee. Concerned mother Elb spends her time in the hospital gawking at Doc Gorgeous and other hunky hospital staff, then starts on the patients....... Goffy hates hospitals, but would consider going if eye candy is supplied on the NHS, Miss Hyde is exhausted after rearranging her folders, and Gusti is snowed under with work. Catherine asks if Elb is wearing her nurse’s uniform yet, and dithers over which Gerriness to watch tonight.... Overtired Gusti ploughs on with new jobbiness, and like many others, passes on her best wishes for BabyElb’s recovery.... Gracie comes steaming into the thread after falling out with an over-critical in-law, is miffed that she missed ENGLAND’s Centenary, and reveals that hubby wants another sprog...... Goffy speaks for all of the team and tells her ENGLAND has missed her, Catherine can’t bear to unwrap her Jo Malone, and sticky-eyed Eeyore fights with an NHS vampire, but admires her new sparklies with Josh Groban as consolation....

Marsha can’t stop as she’s too busy, but does anyway, and sympathises with Eeyore about male doctors’ responses to “wimmins’ problems”, and she and Eeyore have a psychic Gergasm! Cathy returns after going AWOL to watch YPGTBARS and gets a sudden desire for fruit, and Gracie ponders on the fragrance of The Man.... Gusti sympathises with Eeyore with eye problems, and battles on with work rather than play, and Elb grumbles about the servitude she must endure while BabyElb is immobile, but abandons her gammy-legged offspring for the sake of Abridging. Marsha is in Attila mood, and drools over the thought of the smell of the Man who would be King......

Euphemia is still a free woo-man, having resisted the pull of infanticide, and offers Elb ogling-up-hospital-gown-tips, while multi-tarting Gusti has one protocol down, 49 to go....... Gracie wonders at BabyElb’s bedside manners, then rants about her hyper-critical in-law... She is NOT a happy bunny. Euphemia sympathises, and misses Gusti at BC, while Gusti gets moist listening to Josh Grobags and doesn’t like Breakfast Club for one........ Els indulges herself with ‘Chocolat’, Gracie declares her sis-in-law a multi-region pain, and Marsha is eager for an update on Euphemia’s egg-chucking sprogs - but has never heard of ‘sprogs’......... Els loves Spartan rutting habits, while promptly-distracted Elb thanks ENGLAND for their generous good wishes for her little tyrant. Euphemia reports no further action on the home front, although threats of severe repercussions have been issued, and hospitally-emotional Cathy is relieved that her sprogs have grown up, and pedals off round her bedroom..... Els posts a link to the interview at Comic-Con in which Gerry talks of Spartan habits and his dedicated fans, and Eeyore reveals her Josh Grobags method of chilling out en route to work, but has to restrain her vocals lest folk think she’s loopy....... Gracie feels better after offloading to ENGLAND, and Gusti sends herself to bed, narrowly missing Barbara from Switzerland on the way..... Yorkie is miffed because someone else has joined the site under HER nickname, and worries about PMs going astray while Marsha does “Bye”s to some, “Hi”s to others, and is in stitches over Eeyore......... Barbara reassures Yorkie a la Chesney Hawkes that SHE is the one and only.......

Tina notes that Robin Hood ‘street-stylee’ is on his way to BBC1, and Jo has high hopes for the Hottie in a Hoodie, while spark-out Sparkle arrives back home with lunatic aunt in tow, and adds her good wishes for Elb’s daughter to the already-towering pile from Team ENGLAND..... Tina reveals that her username was Robin-Hood inspired, and Jo loves jousting while Cathy, fresh back from peddling round her pillows lets on that she acquired LS from a *cough* ‘contact in the States’....... Eeyore too is a Robin Hoodie, and Jo goes ‘restaurant-that-shall-not-be-named’ spotting in the LS clip........ Catherine watches LWL but doesn’t recommend it for bedtime viewing, while Tina mourns the death of Guy of Gisbourne, Marsha ponders how the life and death of celebs affects us so much, and drools over Sweaty Gerry in LWL..... It is with relief that Yorkie realises that Gerry at least knows the difference between Yorkies, and multi-tarting Cathy is in and out, off and on and here and there whilst attending to pressing matters. Unlike Elb who doesn’t believe in pressing anything...... Catherine heads off in the hope of avoiding cat-in-the-toilet nightmares, Elb is relaxed over BabyElb’s earlier knockout owing to wise-cracking docs, and was preoccupied with hospital totty-spotting, but gives up on Abridging for the night as...*shock horror*....she is going to bed EARLY! Yorkie too admits defeat and goes for her nightly bubbles, and Els hopes to dream of getting her squeaky doors fixed.....

Marsha, having a long day at work, returns to find that the rats have deserted, but Goffy climbs aboard the sinking ship ‘ENGLAND’ despite being in ‘bleugh’ mood.......Miss Hyde leaps off the bows after seeing stupid people on telly, but loyal stalwart Eeyore remains, and explains to Cathy about Dr Seuss whilst listening to favourite film soundtracks. Gobsmacked by Gus, Goffy gives a heads-up to a vid from Sooth that features Gerry singing in LS, which leads to an unladylike tackle from Marsha....... Eeyore spouts Seuss, Cathy fills up, Goffy springs a leak, and Marsha looks like a panda. She thinks Eeyore is adorably strange, and the remaining members of Team ENGLAND swoon over Gus doing karaoke......... Happiness for Marsha is matching bra and panties, and she cracks up over ‘mounted drives’.... Minds having finally gone waaaaaay past the realms of red cards, Goffy and Eeyore retire disgracefully and hope for suitably inspiring dreams! Late-night Jo is put out that ENGLAND have gone, so demands that Marsha keep her company, listening again to Gus’s serenade, before Jo finally heads for bed despite wanting to catch up with the Breakfast Club in the morning! Marsha’s parting shot is a bittersweet one after she finds pics of her last family Christmas before separation and divorce split them asunder, but she redresses the balance with happier family snaps and finally tops it off with a Wet Gerry!

ENGLAND snores on oblivious...............