ENGLAND 105/6 - Mommy, make the voices stop.........

ENGLAND gets its rare (these days) dose of early morning Gustiness, and covers much of last night’s topics in one post before heading off to work. Later arrivals Catherine and Elb practise their psychic skills on each other, and dog-tired Elb needs coffee STAT!!!! She admits that Abridged may be some time in appearing...... Catherine gives her transcription description, complete with gesticulating Gerry, and Elb is glad she didn’t have to Abridge the Butler! Euphemia finally catches some zeds, and feels better for it but still talks to herself, then to Elb who isn’t there.... Catherine contemplates new thread titles, and Euphemia releases the hidden Hun from her cupboard.....

Post-barbie Sparkle flakes out, Els gets the hump and thinks of ENGLAND, and Em is in happier mood...........Blu makes an appearance to enquire how ENGLAND are enjoying the damper weather, but refrains from making vulgar comments about wet pussies, while Miss Hyde is off to Brum for a “fambly reyoonyun” (in best Birmingham accent...) Anti-chaotic Els resists the urge to staple things to people, and Gracie reports that Sparrow and Bono are to team up for a Sea Shanty........

Jo does lunch and Del turns up as promised....... She and Em fight over thread-starting, and Em wins with “ENGLAND 106 - To Infidelity and Beyond!” Del serves up Wulfy Nipples from Gerry’s sweetshop, and Els heads towards the first red card of the new thread....Jo and Em lose track, while Del commits Death by Chocolate on Team ENGLAND to celebrate staying until November... Eva just misses Del but hopes to meet again, and ENGLAND do Shakespeare! Catherine too misses Del, but compensates with domestic bliss instead, while Em has a wobble and chokes on her chocolate when Jo wants Phoenix Knight Neil to”hurry up and fit it in......” Marsha gives another update on her friend Stone, and books Eva as her tour guide, while Yorkie (Blink and you’ll miss her!) sympathises with Glasgee pal Catherine over sciatica, then packs extra men in her holiday suitcase........ Goffy too sympathises with the old crocks, and between them, ENGLAND can probably make a good ‘un! Yorkie is off to let her alter-ego, Auntie Jan loose on a friend in need, and Goffy and Em squish.......... Fellow transcribers Catherine and Goffy compare notes, Marsha wears out Attila’s nappy, and Regin pops in for travel tips from the ENGLAND Tourist Board...... ENGLAND put on a full-blown weather report.

Els lurks while she reads a Drac book, Lady Claire joins the weathergirls, and Marsha scares everyone off...... Gusti gets in, Goffy gets sidetracked and Elb FINALLY finishes Abridging - at 6.45pm, then immediately starts on today’s.... Gusti is fresh out of Wulfiness, and ENGLAND worry that she is working too hard. Marsha too can’t wait to get her hands on Wulfy, goes to work in her jammies and is hot stuff in the kitchen....... Sparkle keeps an eye out for misplaced Americans on roundabouts, and Catherine loses the will to live while listening with Mother......... Miss Hyde and family entertain at the services, Gusti bluffs her way through her new job, and Eeyore gets results. She worries prematurely about thyroid issues, and Euphemia once again comes up with the Quote du Jour..... “Ghastly day - too much stress - too little acohol -no gun licence.....” Marsha waxes lyrical about candles and rain, while Elb does a mini-photoshoot with Mini-Marek and his new shades, and checks into Euphemia’s wing of the asylum while Gusti gets homesick for Scotland and Gerry’s knee, and Elb plays Strip-Poke-him with Marek..... Jo warns her that he’s big-headed, and Cathy gets the DIY Blues. Miss Hyde lays claim to a TV/sofa combo, Gusti turns in before the Grand Unveiling, and ENGLAND stage a mass exit to attend to Real Life. Eeyore gets bear and partners up with Gusti and Goffy at the Marriott, Euphemia is intent on blackmail, and Elb finds Marek is unco-operative when it comes to getting his kit off. Finally however, he models his new gear for ENGLAND. Eeyore blames her hit-and-misspelling on her condition, and Tina thinks Mini-Marek should audition for Baywatch.... (Sorry Tina - his joints would rust!) ENGLAND come over all hormonal as Elb celebrates being peri-menopausal, and Euphemia red cards herself into the Gutler with a mouthful, while Mini-Marek is the spit of Elb’s ex in his shrunken clothes. Marsha calls in Doctor Seuss to sort out ENGLAND’s wimmins’ problems, and Jo makes Elb go shopping again for more Marek-wear. Elb assures Eeyore there’s nowt wrong with long-term medication, and gives herself as a bad example, while Doctor Franken-Em plans on butchering Barbie and Ken to make herself a mini-Marek......Still-behind Barbara can’t get into the rhythm and keeps missing Gusti, and congratulates Elb on her midlife madness. Eeyore finally lets her Marek out of his box, and Em gets into her Shakespeare again. Barbara reiterates her invitation for Slutty and Tardis to visit Zurich, and Jo plagiarises The Bangles with “Marek Monday”....... Jackie is proud of ‘kid’ Marsha’s online limericks but can’t choose a partner in infidelity, Elb tempts Jo with tiny Terry tops, and Em joins the Mini-Marek marauders..... Linguistically-challenged Barbara is overwhelmed by pop-up posts but is not alone - Jo too finds more posts intervene before she replies! Barbara volunteers for late-night pug-trotting, much to Jo’s relief, and ENGLAND compare blood groups for bedtime chit-chat!

Eeyore and Elb retire to bed (or to play with Marek?) leaving Barbara to pug-walk, and Jo to lay the table for Breakfast Club. She also lays out Terry and Marek to stand guard over ENGLAND, having sent cat-gutting Attila home with Barbara, and after much whispering picspam, Marsha finally calls LIGHTS OUT!!.........