ENGLAND 108 and then some......

Gusti quietly cranks up ENGLAND at unGodly o’clock while everyone sleeps, and leaves an early morning bundle of post for the regulars....... Elb stumbles in after a disturbed night and tells how her TV switched itself on at 3am, and she bizarrely dreams of getting a sound snogging from Paddy the vet in ‘Emmerdale’!!! She waves to Yorkie, who is driving her son to the station for the first leg of his holiday nightmare, plastic-bagged ‘luggage’ in hand...... Catherine has a final Breakfast with Elb and Euphemia before her overnight stay away, and Elb posts romantic ghetto sunrise from her office window..... Euphemia has at last had some kip and feels more refreshed, while Catherine asks Elb about the Weeping Engineer and sex, to which the answer is no....... Waving Elb off to work, Catherine and Euphemia settle down with coffee, crumpets and paracetamol.......

Em, Els and Miss Hyde all pop in early, and Miss Hyde compares Elb’s dream with hers: creepy old men, (boo!) pubs, (yay!) nasty folk from school, (hiss!) and Jeremy Clarkson. Er........... Freud would have a field day...... Meanwhile, Del laughs her socks off in EasyInternet, frightening the customers. She puts her mind to poetry.........Eva touches base and Del is back with an illustrated ode no less. Goffy applauds and presents Del with a posy of neck pics, Jo just misses Catherine who hits the road with Parker, and Jo shuts blabbering Gus up with an oscular diversion.... Elb tells Goffy she is made just right, and has an interesting discussion with her replacement window man who has been on ‘Wife Swap’.... Jo tells BabyElb not to make Mum play taxi after a hard day’s graft, and ENGLAND play Hokey-Cokey for an hour or so with intermittent posts from Jo, Em and Goffy. Em is bored silly, but having a relaxing day after a 12 hour stint yesterday.... Goffy plans video revenge on Em for the weepies she’s inflicted on Goffy in the past, and someone makes Els smile while requesting her party favours.... Jo explains the difference between polos and turtles, and Els gives her propositioner careful consideration, while Em is NOT amused.....

Lady Claire drops by to say hi, and thinks Gerry’s getting more Scottish again, while Goffy promises to make a **** of herself if faced with the man himself! Vanessa thinks Gerry needs to come home for an accent update, so Jo suggests Taggart, Rab C Nesbitt or Balamory 24 hours a day, while Vanessa practises Photobucketing.... Lady Claire notes that GB’s accent has softened since YPGTBARS and tweaks Vanessa’s links to reveal her piccy. Goffy links to her Wulfy vid on YouTube, Gusti swings in for her shift, and Jo gives IT lessons......Miss Hyde complains about the cold, Els can’t get a song out of her head, and neither can the rest of Team ENGLAND after clicking on her link! Vanessa asks Auntie ENGLAND for advice about unwelcome attentions at work, and solutions vary from signwriting, to calling in backup (ie: hubby!) Vanessa still can’t get her links right, and wants hubby to b**ger off so she can watch the B&G vid, and Euphemia and Em drift by to play in ENGLAND.... Finally, “by Jove, she’s GOT it!” - Vanessa gets it right, and celebrates by posting pics willy-nilly..... Goffy report back that her tests were inconclusive, and so engrossed are ENGLAND in Vanessa’s pics that nobody notices that Thread 108 has run its’ course - except Elb, who swiftly speeds to the rescue and hoiks up Thread 109 - The Missing Link! (Mind the gap....)

Last-minute crisis averted, ENGLAND settle down to business and continue with the serious matter of posting picspam.....

Els is put out as she was about to sneak in a thread before Elb stomps all over her intentions, so goes to indulge in some Depp instead, and paranoid that she has upset folk, Elb cautiously ploughs on with the saga of her day - BabyElb is back from hospital minus needlework, and insurance will buy Elb a new door to replace the one damaged by burglars..... Vanessa gets the hang of links, while Gusti reveals how she is really feeling, and the situation is not good..... ENGLAND do what they can to offer love and support to a friend in crisis.

Euphemia flies her Photobucket solo at last, and finds a chandelier-cleaning service for Phantom in Peckham and leaves a message on his answering machine.... Cathy gets up front and up the ladder, and normal service is nearly resumed. She pimps JOTS to unsuspecting Ma & Pa.......... Yorkie reports that her eldest managed to fly with barely a hitch, and goes all ‘Auntie Jan’ for Gusti, while leaving a ‘message for Gerry’ with Euph’s answering service....... Gusti tries to explain her situation, and hopes her dark times will teach her to be a stronger person, and thanks ENGLAND for their support. ENGLAND are stumped as to how to help their friend, and all goes quiet while they ponder the dilemma. Elb promises to tell everyone about Sucker Man if they all come back...... Yorkie settles down to listen, Vanessa has an eye on her daughter at the Big Brother Eviction, and Jo gets distracted by Ewan McGregor..... Elb regales ENGLAND with further tales of her ‘WifeSwapping’ window guy who also plays professional rugby and bounces on the side..... along with Mrs Window Guy who lays out anyone who crosses her.......

‘Gerry’ leaves a message for Yorkie via Euphemia’s pictorial answering service, and encourages her to eat healthily - Yorkie takes his proffered plums and banana, and thanks him in terse verse while framing the post for posterity.... Jo thoroughly disgraces herself ‘Between the Sheets’ and Els complains of her sibling’s questionable movie taste after watching “Charlie & the Chocolate Factory” for her dose of Depp, while Vanessa posts more spam and Em is quietly making another vid....Yorkie hopes she’s on Jo’s Christmas card list (ARGH! The C-word!!!) if Neil poses with fruit bowl and handcuffs, and passes Els like Black Pearls in the night....Euphemia has enough of silly captions and starts ryhming again, but leaves Attila’s pillar in mid air....... Eeyore has a **** day at work, but emails a possible blind date who thinks she looks good.....Jo explains that hubby is being held to account to do the fruit bowl shot, but can’t find a small enough banana, and Elb WOOTs quietly for Yorkie’s 2000th post while talking to absent BritTart Catherine on the phone...... Euphemia plays ‘Hunt the Banana’ and Goffy feels like string, wet, chewed or otherwise....Els multi-tarts whilst waiting for varnish to dry and Em gets noticed at last, while Yorkie makes a poetic speech , unaccustomed as she is..... Eeyore posts a friendly motto for ENGLAND, and Yorkie’s plans for an Attila-kind-of-evening are overturned by her lord and master who decides Peter Kay is a better bet, so she stomps off to sulk amidst her bubbles instead.... Elb sees her chance and plans to cybernetically snuggle with her Virtual Lover, and ponders over the possibility of being Amarilloed before issuing a warning that she is having a Blog-Free evening tomorrow.... Jo WOOTs her decision, and Eeyore boxerspams the Butt of Elb’s affections in tribute, while peeping at Peep-Bo Peter’s Little White boxers is Jo’s next fixation....

Eeyore hopes for customers who know their place tomorrow, Vanessa has yet more trouble with her non-links, and Jo shocks Elb by calling it a night! Vanessa goes loopy, and Elb, forgetting to say goodnight, finds she is left to put the thread to bed, but tells ENGLAND they’ll have to put up with instant at Breakfast Club tomorrow, and prays that Euphemia can bring buns.........