England 72 - It’s The Final Countdown!

Laura creeps in to ENGLAND in the early hours of the morning as she’s icky and can’t sleep. Sleep evades Catherine too, so Breakfast Club begins earlier than usual.... Elb joins them, making it a queasy trio. ENGLAND enters a stage of subdued panic, which will no doubt increase to a full-blown hissy fit before Saturday..... Laura has family issues to contend with, and awaits news from her Mum, Tina pops in, slightly improved on yesterday, and Gusti gives herself advice, then gets nervous... Elb is forgetful and hopes she remembers to bring her daughter, Laura gets distracted by the GALS vids, and Tina promises an impersonation of Janice from Friends on Saturday. Jo excuses herself for deserting ENGLAND last night for a man, but it WAS Gerry.....and she and Gusti are communicating on several levels! Sparkle joins the insomniacs, and her friend worries that she is to be sold into slavery in London... Els plans to that effect are thwarted, and she is off early this afternoon, not to watch footie like the rest of the country, but to toot her flute instead..... Miss Magdalena hopes London will be worth missing college for, and is frantically trying to finish assignments whilst procrastinating..... Els boots her up the backside and encourages her to work, THEN play! Magdalena may have to nursemaid her mother if she imbibes, and Em forgets what she came into the thread for... Laura’s uncle has had a stroke, and she may have to fly home to Belfast. Blu feels the need for liquor on Saturday, and Marsha informs ENGLAND that women are more attracted to greying men, and posts a greying Gerry to prove her point! Eeyore offers Laura a shoulder, as she and Jo will be part of the Skeleton Crew this weekend, and Catherine’s siggy just goes to prove Marsha’s point again! Gracie too offers sympathy to Laura, who WON’T be going home after all. Jem is certinally gunna watch football, but Jo won’t, despite flying the flag, nor will Els, who will be stripping in the back of a van instead!... Gusti has been so busy, she forgets to eat... Miss Hyde is patriotic, has been shoe shopping for girly sandals rather than bovver boots, and adds a certain little something to her siggy..... Goffy is impressed and will also be half watching football, and half doing other things. She and Gusti get a little emotional..... and Laura has worse news about her uncle. ENGLAND rally for her, and go into hug mode.... Goffy has invited a new Tart to come visit ENGLAND, as she feels isolated..... ENGLAND awaits her arrival...... Eeyore is a happy bunny as she has been eavesdropping on a cute guy at work, Euphemia complains at Team ENGLAND’s gossiping while Gracie is tearing her hair out and unpacking her bag - again...... Yorkie is in early for a change, and plans on having a quick spin in the toilet again..... Miss Hyde sympathises with Goffy’s invitee, Signe, as she too felt unloved on the threads until she found ENGLAND... Euphemia grants Elb a sainthood.... then Laura breaks the news that her uncle died a short while ago, and ENGLAND offer their heartfelt condolences. Yorkie eloquently voices support on behalf of the thread.

The other ENGLAND finally score - twice! - in the football, and despite sadness for Laura, have muted celebrations. Catherine hasn’t yet packed and has to contend with stroppy husband who missed England’s goal due to his lack of X-ray vision - a dog blocked the TV! Euphemia has prickly ears due to mis-hearing Gerrard’s name on the footie... Yorkie assures Catherine that we will all look like wet lettuce by the end of Saturday night, which is an inspiring thought.... Sparkle buys too many PJs, and will live up to her name on Saturday after buying herself a sparkly ring! Elb finally arrives in the thread after much typing, and decides that there’s something she hasn’t done.... Catherine reports that her wash-in, wash-out hair colour is a washout, and Gracie is going to keep her eyes peeled for details of TartCon 2 so she can alert Elb, and set The Big Plan into action! Berenise points out that it’s Trooping the Colour on Saturday too......Everyone discusses What To Wear, and a general feeling of mild panic pervades the thread. Elb doesn’t know whether to hug people or salute them after last night’s military exercises, but Gracie vows to salute... Yorkie despairs of ever reaching the Superwooman loos, as ENGLAND will all be queuing to do the same!

Miss Hyde breaks into the ‘help-I-haven’t-got-a-thing-to-wear’ melee with breaking news! DO NOT READ THE DOCTOR WHO PRESS RELEASE!!!! Apparently it contains spoilers and has ruined the ending for many......

Gusti has packed everything including the kitchen sink, and can barely walk..... Cathy arrives late after setting up her new multi-region DVD player to watch Gerry’s Mummy film.....On Saturday, Tina will be wearing mainly black......She is aghast at Miss Hyde’s Doctor Who warnings - Is Tennant-totty leaving?????? In honour of imminent Tarting About, Gracie paints her toenails..... Loubylou pops in to wish everyone a wonderful time in London, and to pass her condolences to Laura. Yorkie posts a ‘funny’ about being British, and Louby plays the Spoiler Fun game, albeit three threads too late! Gusti is off for the night, and bids farewell to those she won’t see again until Saturday - she will be in Breakfast Club for the last time tomorrow...... Laura drops in to thank everyone for their messages of support, and Euphemia reveals that she has a copy of B&G!!!! ENGLAND are agog as to where she got it, as it is not due for release yet... Goffy has the opportunity of contacting a foster brother she hasn’t seen in years, but dithers. Yorkie gives her sound advice to try contacting him, despite Goffy thinking he won’t respond....... ENGLAND agrees with Yorkie, and Goffy heeds the advice. Goffy’s invitee, Signe is lurking, and Yorkie gently encourages her to post.....Tina assures her that ENGLAND don’t bite.... Elb decides her wardrobe would fit her better than her clothes, prompting Barbs and Cathy to assure her that it’s the person inside who counts..... Elb looks for an accountant inside her wardrobe...... Miss Hyde posts a joke and sends Elb into hysterics, Euphemia to the insurance agents, and Eeyore running to the gallery, where she finds scrummy new/old Gerrypics! Yorkie cues the shy Signe, but Smugs comes in instead! Elb sends in her baseball bat-wielding emoticon, and Signe too finally comes out of lurkerdom! ENGLAND lays out the welcome mat.... Gracie returns after chiselling off nail polish, to tell Goffy that she too lost touch with her brother, but had a happy outcome, and hopes Goffy’s will be the same.... Tina has a wide load, and Catherine’s trousers appear to have shrunk since last week.... Snow makes a brief stopover, and Yorkie interrogates the two newbies about how exactly they came by a certain Mr Butler.... Cathy zooms in on G’s freckles, and Eeyore gives more football results, aided by Peekaboo Pants Man again.... Talking of laundry, Yorkie reckons ENGLAND are all using the same washing powder, as all our clothes appear to have shrunk.... Elb meanwhile, practises bad language after seeing the new pics in the gallery! Berenise concurs..... Cautions and good wishes are issued for Travelling Tarts who hit the road (not literally!) tomorrow, and many retire to bed, leaving the stalwarts behind to gossip over the new pictures in the gallery. Signe reveals a little about herself, and says that she speaks with an American accent! Cathy threatens to sing during the POTO stage show, and Sparkle returns to find ENGLAND have nearly trashed the thread, and gained two extra tarts to boot! Els returns from Winchester, having been accosted by bugs and risked life and limb at the hands of an insane, rally-driving Scotsman..... Signe and Smugs chat with Goffy till the end of the thread rears up, and ENGLAND jump ship to thread 73, hastily set up by Els......

‘Bar 73: All Together Now! ...With music on our minds’ throws Elb for a loop, as she was expecting a title with ENGLAND in it! Smugs is confused, and Elb explains the 300 posts per thread rule, and Yorkie reserves Thread 76 in order to fit all her trombones in it.... She also skimps on a hairdo for London, and decides to wear a turquiose and silver wig instead... Snow shows again, and isn’t aware of burbling, but Elb informs her that all BritTarts burble, waffle and gab.... Eeyore has been assembling men, and Jo turns up, refusing to be shaken off... Despite jumping threads and being in disguise, she still tracks ENGLAND down....Finally, in sheer desperation, Elb goes to bed.......

(Just kidding, Jo!)