England 71 and a half - Biscuits? You'll be lucky...

Catherine and Parker are up early with Show Nerves, to find that it has Snow-ed during the night..... Finding nobody up at nearly 4am, she burbled to herself about stairs, backpacks, portly illegitimate cats and the likelihood of a smooth crossing of the Irish Sea..... Catherine & Euphemia go to catch up while coffee brews....Gusti hurries them along as she needs caffeine, and canines and felines fed, ENGLAND is up and running. Euphemia has trouble with her mobile - she can’t find it - and Gusti, despite having to work one more day, is in holiday mood! She hugs Goffy in her absence, and wishes Miss Hyde luck in her exams today... Elb is practising being petrified and paranoid, and Catherine is in a strop with fickle weather forecasters.... Tina drops in en route to work, and may not be able to get online later, and Catherine goes for crumpet as buns are off. Tina says it’s overcast in the Midlands, Elb says it’s getting dark in Somerset, and is bewildered to find she has ordered B&G from Amazon.... Lady Claire missed Vegas but wishes ENGLAND luck for Saturday, and Gusti is late but doesn’t care... Jo too has an email from Amazon, and flies past Els who is late for BC and eats alone.... Del and Evangelina do the mid-morning stint, while Sparkle has forgotten her German, so plans to practise on Gusti in London! Eeyore is still photo-labbing, so waves her hall pass at ENGLAND, and Els is perving over Huge Ackman in Oklahoma - at work! Blu only has five minutes left.... Em has thighs of steel after swimming (let’s hope she doesn’t go rusty....) and also has portly illegitimate cats.... Del is an editor today, and Goffy has a bad/good/bad day... SnowQueen ponders the merits of flight over sail, and decides there is more likelihood of meeting Cap’n Jack in a boat... Del rambles about office products, theses and coding, and gets excited about a diary, then goes completely off the rails with pig snout on toast and prairie home companions.... She and Snow gossip in code....

Gracie reappears, having missed 2 threads, but has resorted to Abridged to keep her breast of events, including Gerry Does Vegas and Gets A Pug.... Els loves Boxers more than Pugs, and is worried that her Mum will freak at ENGLAND’s er...enthusiasm..... Miss Hyde has survived Day One of exams, and lets her hair down with a clip. Els sees her clip and counteracts with one of her own. Euphemia is nearly sorted for Saturday, and talks of abusing sheep, while Gracie panics over what to wear....Elb raises an eyebrow at Del’s earlier posts about pig snouts, and raises the idea of setting up a text chain in case TartCon 2 is announced while ENGLAND are at work... It seems this is one of Elb’s better ideas, and she is bombarded with numbers.... She too loves boxers and posts a piccy of blue ones, softly caressing Butler’s cheeks.... Miss Hyde shakes her head at the obviousness of it all... Catherine arrives home, numb-bummed after driving 315 miles, and Els scolds Elb for deliberately misunderstanding her post about scary internet fangirls..... Euphemia signs up for text lessons, and Elb WOOTs because the Beowulfast Three are together online again!
Sparkle asks Catherine doggy questions, and panics over forgetting things for London. (As do most of ENGLAND!) Goffy thanks folkses for being nice on her new-born blog. Elb issues an end-of-thread alert, but posts up the new thread anyway, riding rough-shod over Els who may or may not have had an idea....Yorkie has beanz Chez Gerry’z in reserve on Saturday if Chez Gerard mess up the booking, and takes off running to catch up on the thread before being left behind as ENGLAND step swiftly into 72 - It’s The Final Countdown!

Elb has lost the plot, and assumes the role of Commander-in-Chief of BritTart Operations, designating Goffy as front-line defence observer, to watch out for the announcement of TartCon 2.

Yorkie worries about topping up her phone and reckons Friday night is loony-night, Gracie plans a castle for Team ENGLAND in Glasgow, and Tina turns weathergirl again, with a link to Saturday’s forecast...Goffy is in headless chicken mode, as she’s tired and Miss Hyde thinks about dancing. Els has always wanted to see Phantom on stage, and Elb paces amongst the ranks. Catherine bewails the fact that she will be webless on Friday night, and panting Cathy returns from cycling round her bedroom to find ENGLAND under military command, planning for Glasgow 07..... Yorkie plans on a repeat performance of the Super Woo-man impression that she and Elb perfected in a toilet cubicle, so she will be cool and floaty for Saturday night... Goffy accepts the mission thrust upon her by Elb, and vows to keep a lookout, while Els presents a selection of stirring music for ENGLAND’s military campaign. Blu mysteriously posts that “Hump day is nearly over....” ...... Tina gets spotty in honour of Tarting About, and suggests an anthem for Team ENGLAND. Eeyore still insists she’s not here, but is. She pimps James Puresex to the team, as he is on telly on Monday, and Els for one will be glued.....Miss Hyde accepts tooting duties with Els, but co-ordination is a problem. She decides to try for Glasgow....Gracie wants to know if she should start marching, and suggests Loch Lomond as the anthem, while Tina loses the will to live on the GALS site. Sparkle, born in ‘72, is getting drippy, as she too joins the Dyeing for London Brigade. Gusti arrives late and goes off to read the day’s posts...She may be gone for some time! Goffy has to explain ‘bouncy bouncy’ to Gusti.....Tina heads off to snuggle as she’s feeling under the weather, and Yorkie worries that her Contacts list in her mobile will get her put away.....Cathy has been watching the Gerry-in-Vegas vids, and her ears are still ringing as a result. Elb apologises for her mini-coup, but has a New Plan...Goffy will still be Chief Lookout, but Elb will master the technology of her phone, and send texts to all of ENGLAND as hers are free...She chomps on a cigar a la George Peppard. Now that she knows what it means, Gusti too is bouncing, as she has finished work, and will be travelling to the UK on Friday. Berenise likes The Plan for alerting ENGLAND, and offers to act as lookout at lunchtimes.

Yorkie is NOT getting her hair done for Saturday, unlike most of the team, who are cutting, dyeing, straightening and curling for all they’re worth! Her Paranoia Twin however, is going au naturelle - i.e. grey, so that cheers her up somewhat. Elb will be unable to post on Friday night, as she is staying at her webless daughter’s. Barbs arrives, breathless, and tries to catch up, Cathy sticks her fingers in a socket for a cheap hairdo, and Yorkie offers to act as Liaison Officer for Elb on Friday via text! She also offers to bring safety pins in case of a repeat of Elb’s wardrobe malfunction in Glasgow...Marsha sings in the rain, sad that she’s not part of the ENGLAND weekend gathering, but cheers up listening to PONR. Barbs wonders if the Express Holiday Inn in Glasgow would offer discount for the entire British contingent? Gusti asks that she too is added to the Text List in case Glasgow is announced while she is away. Yorkie panics (yet again!) about being in photographs, but will be in them if Elb has anything to do with it! Marsha has bad dreams, and hints that should ENGLAND care to send her chocolate, she will be most grateful! Goffy is pleased with her blogtherapy, and heads off to bed a happier bunny. Marsha is last in ENGLAND, and tells a funny story about condoms and religious grandmothers...She is perplexed by Goffy’s query as to whether she’s heard of Love sacs..... Finally, the thread is quiet, and Elb can put the blog to bed...............