ENGLAND 68 - Stop here for grumpy wimmin chatting...

Elb wakes ENGLAND ready for the day ahead, but then immediately vanishes to finish last night’s blogging... Catherine is feeling rough, Kelli is feeling sore, and Gusti just feels in need of a caffeine hit... Catherine makes another attempt at the Streaky-leg lotion, and Gusti is happy as it’s sunny in Vienna and she can at last wear her new shoes.... Elb returns after finishing yesterday’s post and Sophie pops in with a WOOT for Yorkie’s letter and pic. Four Leaf Clover makes a lovely tribute to Elb, by which she is most touched..... awww! Gracie missed the party last night, so is late in getting her WOOTing in for Goffy’s and Elb’s post counts, then heads off for some pampering.... Sparkle has been putting some spit and polish on her car in honour of Blu’s visit at the weekend, and Jo, like Gracie, has internet problems. Having discovered Elb’s remedy for Prickly Heat, Jo calls for Gerry’s help in applying yogurt to those inaccessible places..... Del suggests cold tea bags....Miss Magdalena posts from college in a panic over her imminent exams, and is encouraged to breathe, by Del!

Yorkie scolds Jo for hogging the fan, as ENGLAND is in dire need of cooling down after a portion of Gerriness. There appear to be an abundance of Tarts at home in the afternoon, and Catherine and Gusti are both having a lie-down, while everyone else is sunning themselves, or are at work! Blu lurks on Oxford Street wondering how many times she has passed the address for GB’s fan mail..... Gusti and Jo both look forward to extended time off work - Gusti is on holiday for a month, and Jo for six weeks! Marsha sends a Letter from America, and reports a five-minute peekaboo endurance limit, Huge Ackman can sing, and that Gerry was on TV singing MOTN!

Jem again posts in strange dialect, and Berenise yearns for other folks’ barbeques.... Em was in demand at work, but melting, and Miss Hyde turns into Weathergirl Extraordinaire, issuing a verra professional forecast! Cheerful Marsha is delighted to find people in ENGLAND, and introduces herself to Jem most politely, but asks for a translation. Catherine is vertical, and also goes into weathergirl mode...... Is it infectious? Marsha has an announcement to make...She is Officially Obsessed! She thanks members of Team ENGLAND for making room in the asylum for her, and to voice her feelings, posts a song sung by vegetables.... Asylum is obviously the right place for her. Elb posts her arrival at the same time, late because she has been to see her ‘baby’, got sat on by a large dog, and has spent the last hour blogging up to speed....Sparkle raises the first WOOT for Marsha, who enquires if Elb’s son is available...Miss Hyde ups the WOOTage with five, and encourages Elb with the blogging...Del huggles, despite the heat, and Jem offers her congratulations to Marsha, Goffy and Elb on their respective achievements!

Cathy has entered the FanVid competition and has been wearing too many hats, while Elb issues three Waves and a double WOOTer for Marsha, lets her down gently by informing her that her son is cohabiting, and thanks Four Leaf Clover for the touching post this morning.... Catherine nearly overdoes it with a heroic multiple Woot, and Sparkle celebrates her very first Gergasm....with Elb! Not only that, but they have both asked the same question....... Del educates ENGLAND regarding frozen beverages, Catherine issues an update on the Streaky-Legs situation, and Del does a naughty, which is enjoyed by all. Miss Hyde is off-colour and is off for an early night. Em too is off for a dunk in the bath, threatening to get Jamie all wet......but returns to acknowledge Marsha’s thanks to Em for bringing her to ENGLAND. Eeyore arrives after her second day in her new job, and Jo is giving her computer an MOT by getting rid of Gerry! Cathy PM’s everyone with the link to her new vid, and Elb starts the Don’t Delete Gerry Campaign....Del posts instructions on How to Flip Your Monitor, but Elb is too chicken to try it. ENGLAND agrees that their computers would probably benefit from a spring clean, as would Yorkie’s mind, when she immediately lowers the tone with some snappy editing.... The wind gets up in ENGLAND, as Jo wheels out a bevy of fans to cool Yorkie off, and kilts get a big UP from the remaining lassies in ENGLAND!

Cathy advises never to cycle with one’s skirt hiked up, as she nearly needed surgery to remove her bike...Del wants to see the Lost lads in kilts, and teases about forthcoming episodes...Goffy has been too quiet, but will do better tomorrow, and Tina stops by briefly after Del begins to wrap things up for the night, but promises not to make a mess...Del gets whimsical and describes the mood in her part of Glasgow tonight, and Tina finds a stray Jamie to play with in the Great Hall, promising to share her toys.... Elb takes up the gauntlet and describes ghetto life in Somerset while Marsha describes what’s going on in North Carolina....Then she wrecks the imagery by mentioning the word “Hoo hoo” and ENGLAND erupts in fits of giggles.....

Suddenly, a newbie, Laura8969 creeps in to say hi, and has an alarming picture of a tattooed young man as a siggy...... She is welcomed by all, but takes fright and vanishes...... Eeyore adopts one of Del’s freshly posted images as her siggy, and Marsha’s hoo hoo quivers with embarrassment as she recounts a trip to the doctor where she was interrogated by a nice young man who wanted inside information..... Laura returns, and explains who the Tattoed Man is. ENGLAND is too old and hasn’t heard of his band.... ENGLAND pester Laura for information, and she admits to having only seen POTO TWO days ago, but fell for G as the Phantom... Del lusts after younger men, and Yorkie has a fresh victim to tell about her signed piccy. There are reminiscences of ‘skits’ of our youth, and Elb - with an arse the size of Belgium, decides to retire to wave her poor leggies in the air.... Euphemia is verra late on parade, Eeyore is enjoying the new job and Del is off to fantasise about castles, furs and firelight...... Euphemia advocates the use of Olay and Polyfilla.... Marsha returns when ENGLAND have retired to bed, and waxes lyrical about the joys of older men...before tidying up ENGLAND and wishing everyone goodnight.