England 64 - going on 65.........

New Hon. BritTart-in-Training Lady Claire is first in for breakfast, although strictly speaking, it’s not breakfast for her, but almost 10pm the previous night..... Despite being allergic, she asks for advice on what make of dog to buy for her children, but Gusti who is next to arrive, can’t oblige, as she has no pets, only lots of shoes.... She denies Elb’s accusations of having a foot fetish however! Elb meanwhile, has been struggling to fulfil the doctor’s request for a sample, gives far too much information and refuses ever to make gravy in a Certain Jug again.............. She also passes a stream of unintentional wee puns.... Catherine has been shovelling sh** at 4am, thanks to Parker who is still unwell, and dispenses good advice to Elb who is also under the weather, but manages to keep her insides inside.......... Lady Claire - still in ENGLAND despite the dodgy subject matter, finally manages to post a pic of herself so we can see who we’re talking to. After a lesson in time differences and picture posting, Lady Claire goes to bed and after Catherine starts the new thread for the day, ENGLAND goes to work...Del, Goffy and Jo step in to help finish off the old thread.

Then onto.....England hits 65 - another milestone in our rapidly ageing thread!

Miss Hyde pops in for elevenses to sympathise with Elb’s gravy jug dilemma, joined by Gracie, who also proffers advice to Elb’s kidneys. She also points out that it is but 17 days until the infamous London Tart Gathering.....Jo and Euphemia jump on the bandwagon to dispense more appreciated advice to Elb, and Euphemia thanks ENGLAND for chatting to Misu last night. Morris is also starting to recover from his illness.....

After the plethora of morning postings, ENGLAND is quiet until much later when Loubylou shows up for afternoon tea. The Twinphans make a rare but welcome reappearance and issue hugs to all. Barbs reports that she is to travel alone to Egypt to visit her daughter and new son-in-law, and is very nervous about the journey. Twins are the theme of the afternoon as Perv Twins Goffy and Em show up to keep Louby (who has twin daughters) company. Talk turns to bugs, and Jo finds a beetle is the best way to assure a hasty exit from a bath......Goffy has the screaming heebie-jeebies over any sort of bug and Louby blames global warming for bigger and uglier BritBugs. Miss Hyde has wasps, Em reckons Goffy is a permanent screaming loon, and Goffy has also been playing with Fireworks...........Elb arrives home and is touched by all the good wishes, and introduces her kidneys, Ronnie & Reggie to ENGLAND.

ENGLAND exchange dubious looks.

Moving swiftly on, the conversation reverts to bugs again, and ENGLAND cringes as one with tales of huge spiders, flying insects and bats. Goffy and Elb enthuse over a mutual love for dancing cockroaches while Catherine fondly remembers some by name......... Em keeps dead tarantulas in the fridge at work, Jo hates things that fly and talks of mega-slugs from Germany. Elb finally remembers to pass on Yorkie’s apologies for her absence, but whinges that she always leaves ENGLAND home alone.... Jo agrees with Elb that skidding on slugs is verra disturbing, particularly when wearing slippers, but Cathy avoids the slug problem altogether by putting her garden down to shingle. Tina pipes up that her pet hate is wasps - but slugs are a close runner-up, and Elb despairs that ENGLAND - herself included - are such a bunch of wimps when it comes to creepy-crawlies.

Catherine is a Grumpy Old Woo-man but redeems herself by offering to be ENGLAND’s chief Pest Control Officer ; however, she retires to bed before anyone can call on her services.....Just as well, because cheeky young Miss Hyde takes the mickey out of the more mature members of ENGLAND.... Elb puts down her Sanatogen and shakes her walking stick at Miss H. While Sparkle joins the “Joe’s Apartment” Appreciation Society, Gusti plonks down after a hard day, but leaps up again in alarm at tonight’s subject matter. She doesn’t stay long as she is tired once more, and has a job interview tomorrow.... As one BritTart exits, another enters and Euphemia sits in session. She has Morris and friend under close watch as there is cat flu about. Morris and co have the birds under their beady eyes, as there is bird flu about......Misu has the Cartoon Network under observation........

By the time Elb comes back to the thread after trying to simultaneously blog and read, she finds that most of ENGLAND have called it quits, so taking advantage of the peace and quiet, she sneaks out of the thread early on medical grounds......