ENGLAND REACHES 60! BritTarts’ Diamond Jubilee!

Late Sunday night, Elb sets up “ENGLAND’S 60TH! Our Diamond Jubilee!” and leaves a welcome basket of fruit for the morning crew... Elb awakens to find Gerry’s fruit has already been plucked by Yorkie and Eeyore. Catherine and Gusti join Elb for breakfast after catching up on the thread from the previous night, but Gusti refuses fruit as she has a dicky tum! The trio head off to work, passing Euphemia who is about to practise the martial art of Sho-Pping (just HAD to quote that one!), and is miffed that someone already munched Gerry’s banana... Delanie and Gracie also whizz through the revolving door, then all is quiet until Miss Hyde logs on to talk to herself but finds Delanie still lurking. Euphemia still can’t get no satisfaction in the handbag department, and Yorkie swims in to inform ENGLAND she has the Fire Brigade on standby for fear her gnomes will be washed away in the rising flood waters.

ENGLAND is still awash later when Em turns up to marvel at how we have managed to natter our way through 60 threads of in-depth discussions on “Quantum Physics and Molecular Biology”. Goffy and Em discuss their ancestry and Goffy announces she has “a bit of Highlander” in her, whilst Em has “a bit of Viking” in her..... (Elb would like a bit of either of those.... snigger.....Wulfy? Gerry?) Catherine has Italian/Irish lineage, Miss Hyde has a touch of French blood, and Tina admits to being a bit of a mongrel. Sparkle has a bit of most of the UK , with the exception of Wales, which some folk might say is for the best. Allegedly...... Just a joke Taffy, if you’re reading!

Tina and Goffy chat about the raffle prizes for the London meet, and Goffy complains that Tina is hogging all the Scotsmen, not that they are the prizes....Daft complains that she can’t keep up with the ENGLAND threads, and so Catherine helpfully points her in the direction of this blog. OzTart Sophie pops across to congratulate ENGLAND on reaching their 60th, and to offer a word of encouragement to the still-supposed-to-be-revising Miss Hyde.

Elb finally catches up with the tail of the thread at 7pm, as she is blogging the current days’ posts as she reads. Flagrantly flouting the “Save bandwidth!” rule, she posts a GerryWeather report, finishing with her favourite: a Wet Gerry! Everything changes with Laura’s siggy, and Cathy arrives, breathless with the news that she has dreamed about Gerry two nights in a row, and was on the receiving end of a full-on ButlerSnog - with tongue! ENGLAND turns green.....

Now wearing water wings, Yorkie still awaits a pump-action fireman, preferably with a large hose.... and Goffy has so far failed to find the elusive ‘fookin’ interview. Cathy (Irish/Indian/Welsh), Yorkie (French!) and Elb (Scottish/English) join the Ancestry Game. Del is suffering from a similar complaint to Gusti, and sends her regrets that she’ll be MIA tonight, and Cathy posts pics of Miss Brown and fiance, which are duly admired by ENGLAND. Elb reports contact from Els who is freezing her butt off in Portsmouth, awaiting the arrival of the boats from the Volvo Ocean Race. Sophie from Oz joins ENGLAND again, although it is 4am in Oz, and she is struggling to finish her essay before Uni.

Catherine fails to devote sufficient time to Jamie Fraser, but blames it on her husband turning the light out when she wants to read in bed! When Elb suggests a Viking Miners Helmet such as the one she wore in Glasgow, Yorkie figures this headgear is the reason Elb is sans-homme. This theory is disproved by Cathy, who, despite sleeping ‘au naturel’ and without horned helmet, is still a no-go zone where the opposite sex are concerned. Gusti appears in the midst of this fascinating discussion, having worked her way through “The Jury” and is suitably impressed by Gerry in the role of Johnnie Donne. Els returns from sailor-welcoming duties a little emotional, as a crewmember was lost during the race, but is glad she went nonetheless, and heads off to bed to warm up.

While Elb has been busy chronicling ENGLAND’s day, it appears that almost everyone has retired to bed with their second-favourite Scot, and only Elb, Gusti and Cathy remain.... Blu does her customary hit-and-run, and after a brief conversation about future roles for Gerry, ENGLAND retires for the night.

Or so Elb thinks, who is secretly glad that she may get to bed and indulge herself with Jamie, rather than fall asleep on her keyboard....

But Blu reappears, shortly followed by Goffy who feels like poo, and Gusti - who Elb had thought was tucked up in bed! Cathy has been pondering what Gerry’s drinking in his drunk scenes, Blu and Elb discuss bodies and squeamishness, and up pops Yorkie again to invite Elb to tea where she will be regaled with Tales for the Not-So-Squeamish by her scalpel-happy son.

Will ENGLAND never lie down????

Eventually, the late-nighters give in and leave Elb to finish the update, but Yorkie is spotted hiding, and despatched with a flea in her ear........ Elb heaves a sigh of relief and knuckles down to work, flinching every time a notification goes ‘PING’ on her Mac....