ENGLAND hits 50! - The Golden Anniversary for BritTarts...

MONDAY 1ST MAY 2006

Bank Holiday dawns, and first up is Elb who discovers that Yorkie has again popped in during the wee small hours! Catherine joins her almost immediately and comforts Elb over her Coffee Crisis - she has run out, and has to break into the emergency coffee! Deprived of good quality caffeine, Elb reckons that Yorkie should now be known as Yorkie GTE - Globe Trotter Extraordinaire - with go-faster stripes in her hair. However, Catherine is next for a domestic crisis and reports that her washing machine has leaked, and Parker has chewed the coffee table.... Elb admits to being a freak (There is a thread up entitled “Are You a Freak?” which most of ENGLAND and the KT appear to have endorsed)

Kelli from the KT joins ENGLAND for breakfast, although it is the middle of the night where she is. She expresses sympathy for Elb who must face her Mother’s culinary delights once again. She too admits to being a freak. Gusti too has posted on the freak thread, so we are all equally freaky...... She is dubious about meeting an ex-colleague as she feels uncomfortable about going to his house, but in the end, it turns out well, and she has a good time. The Tarts reminisce over dinners long-gone and cooked by long-gone relatives, and on that wistful note, Elb starts the next thread: “ENGLAND hits 50! - The Golden Anniversary for BritTarts and Guests” Blu is put-out that the thread was started before the old one finished, but in Elb’s eyes, it’s called “Being Prepared”. She was a Boy Scout in a former incarnation.... We all try to enlighten Kelli as to why Bank Holidays are so named, as they are called Public Holidays elsewhere in the world, which seems much more appropriate. We then discuss weight loss, as Catherine, Gusti and Gracie are all losing the pounds, and Tina would like to. Elb just gives up and eats another biscuit. Once again, the question of what to wear in London comes up, and occupies much of the morning’s waffling, along with Elb’s plans to follow in Yorkie’s footsteps to NY in October. Amidst chat about laptops between Gusti and Del, Els pokes her head back in and does a splendid job of demonstrating how very wrong in her mind tank she has gone, whilst rambling on in Boosh-ese. ENGLAND smiles and pats her on the shoulder sympathetically....

Goffy and Tina chat about plans to relocate to Scotland, provoking envy in Elb (who lives in Chav-town) and others. But Catherine is happy to be living by the sea, and Els loves Portsmouth. The mood sobers somewhat when Goffy starts singing “You’ll Never walk Alone” (prompted by watching football) and Elb mentions that it makes her cry, particularly since Hillsborough - and then we get onto funeral songs again! Cheery group in ENGLAND today! Lord of the Rings is the next subject, and Em admits to never having watched any of the LOTR films, so we try to persuade her to give them a go. Gusti STILL hasn’t had her blood test results, so her constant tiredness is still a mystery. Del presents some stunning new siggies based on James Blunt lyrics, and encourages folk to go and vote in the Snog Siggies Contest over in the Kissing Thread Sub-Forum, and Elb goes off to another dreaded dinner over-cooked by her mother.

Later, Delanie opens her heart and asks for advice regarding a personal problem. ENGLAND offers advice and closes ranks protectively around Del who probably wishes she hadn’t asked..... Elb manages to break the serious train of posts by announcing the cat has stood on her cheese. Marsha arrives at the tail end of the evening having been poorly, and receives one of the many grouphugs that are going round ENGLAND tonight. Can you feel the LURVE, people?
A brief discussion on the merits of cheese-washing ensues, dissipating any lingering seriousness, and Eeyore launches a search party for Jessey and Loubylou who have been AWOL for a while.Marsha and Eeyore close down ENGLAND for the night with a yarn about various other actors they find fanciable....