ENGLAND 60 - Day Two in the BritTart House....

Elb opens ENGLAND for business at the crack of dawn. (Has she actually BEEN to bed at all?) Catherine, Kelli and Gusti are all in before 7am, and talk turns to coffee, more specifically, coffee gadgetry, which everyone appears to have stashed at the back of cupboards!
Catherine is soon to go to a dog show in Somerset, and Elb reports good weather there. (This later changes, and she receives a text from Catherine that turns her mobile blue...) The latter is cheered however, by now being able to play Gerry PORN - sorry - PONR - in her car. Euphemia and Blu pop in, and later on, Delanie and Gracie, who discuss slobbery kids and dogs, or vice versa.....Em threatens to overspend at the Bullring, and Sparkle meets Eamonn Holmes at her local shopping centre. Sophie from Oz is cream-crackered after only 2 hours sleep before Uni, and Goffy still feels like poo.

Marsha returns from being AWOL, and she and Goffy discuss which of Gerry’s ‘looks’ they prefer. Gusti joins in but they all berate Elb for overdoing things, as she has been complaining about doing the ENGLAND blog! Elb promptly feels guilty, and issues an abject apology.... There is a brief but classy exchange of picspam, illustrating Gerry’s various looks.

Els congas in, deposits a suspicious link and congas out again, threatening to return later. Elb naively clicks on the link and is confronted with a nekkid man dancing to a verra irritating tune, and waving her name on a placard.................

Delanie is frustrated, as she has been told she is not qualified for jobs, or is over-qualified....... She then goes on a rant about people buying designer labels for babies...which Elb joins in, while Gusti tries to assist career-wise. In the meantime, a new salvo of picspam is fired, and continues unabated over the heads of Delanie and Gusti in earnest conversation. Euphemia explains her daughter Miss Magdalena’s absence: she is at college, and can only post occasionally from there. Marsha has to return to work, and bids farewell, just in time to miss Elb singing, and Cathy unfortunately chooses that moment to arrive. Elb gets confused with her lyrics, and the Outlander books are the subject of much discussion again. Sparkle and Gusti leave early to snuggle up with Jamie and Phanty respectively, shortly followed by Catherine. Debate continues as to how people envisage Jamie Fraser, and Del posts a picture of her bekilted friend, which provokes much drooling.

It’s a quiet night for ENGLAND, and Goffy posts her new vid before she too signs off for the night. Alas, it’s not the final version, as Mr Goffy deleted it by mistake... Watch this space for news on the “Slaughter on the Wirral” story as it unfolds live on ENGLAND..... Finally, at post no. 298, Yorkie appears, in unsettled mode which is most un-Yorkie-like. She receives hugs and sympathy from the remaining members of Team ENGLAND, and is told to get on with starting a new thread...

And so begins ENGLAND 61 - LXI Lip-smacking Xissing (we wish!) in which Els posts and runs, Del recommends ENGLAND’S next reading material, and Blu gets wind. Cathy shows off her bedfellows, Yorkie pimps Goffy’s new vid and Goffy pimps Enormous Penises. Elb is in and out like a fiddler’s elbow.... When ENGLAND re-convenes after “Lost”, Yorkie and Elb cheat on Gerry with Sawyer, Eeyore arrives late at the party again, and is immediately deserted by the rest of ENGLAND.

And Elb gets to bed before midnight!